Before My Heart Got Broken
Chasing the obvious<br/> A fight of the clock<br/> We never knew how to feel<br/> The world will not stop<br/> <br/> I'm battling my own veins<br/> The blood overruns<br/> I cannot become the thing<br/> That bore me the son<br/> <br/> I'm waiting here to see<br/> I'm wanting you<br/> I'm chasing majesty<br/> Forgetting mortality<br/> <br/> I desperately search a mile<br/> To find my own out<br/> But nothing is clearly<br/> Surrounded in doubt<br/> <br/> I'm waiting here to see<br/> I'm wanting you<br/> I'm chasing majesty<br/> Forgetting mortality<br/> <br/> Can we turn back time<br/> Can we escape our mind<br/> I'm waiting for light to<br/> Burst inside my mind<br/> <br/> Rewind
Submitted by Nargaroth — Jun 18, 2026
The pain, the peace and the beautiful things<br/> The scars, the hope and the in between<br/> The patience and the product of all we know<br/> Grants me survival and I'm asked to atone<br/> <br/> You just break me<br/> Give way to<br/> It let me in<br/> A new way<br/> <br/> All we ever were to be<br/> All I'd ever hoped was<br/> Not confined, but aligned<br/> In the presence<br/> Admist all we could become<br/> But now today, somehow someway,<br/> Progressively, only growing<br/> <br/> I'd never knew I would find my way back through the shadows<br/> It seemed so dismally<br/> Obtuse, it seemed there's nothing left<br/> But through it all I realize<br/> There's nothing left in hatred<br/> It left me numb and vacant<br/> I can no longer take it<br/> <br/> Same story<br/> Self loathing<br/> <br/> All we ever were to be<br/> All I'd ever hoped was<br/> Not confined, but aligned<br/> In the presence<br/> Admist all we could become<br/> But now today, somehow someway,<br/> Progressively, only growing<br/> <br/> Progressively, only growing<br/> Progressively, only growing<br/> Progressively, only growing<br/> Somehow someway<br/> Progressively, only growing
Submitted by Nargaroth — Jun 18, 2026
Momentary, a lapse, a sort of calm, a sort of, well, a moment where everything feels very<br/> much like it makes sense until insanity comes back with an unwelcome guest festering in my mind<br/> And I just continuously have to deal with the cycle that I was sentenced to like a prisoner with no awareness made of his charges or crime<br/> And I'm not claiming to be a saint, nor am I claiming to be perfect. I'm just saying that this seems like a kind of hell that I would never sentence any mortal to<br/> In or outside of the flesh<br/> <br/> Isolation is really a cancerous thing. Ironically, I was born in July and I am a cancer<br/> But I have never killed anyone, at least to my knowledge, and if I have, spare me the weight of the guilt that comes with being a murderer<br/> because I never wanted that to be who I was and I always try to protect the ones I cared about<br/> Any kind of actions that would lead to that sort of conduct<br/> I'm sitting here in this place very much alone, feeling like I'm only cared for when there's a purpose to what can be gained from my essence and being<br/> that is able to somehow benefit the others around me<br/> So I'm here, taking a drag off a cigarette<br/> <br/> I'm not sure if messages will be read or if they will linger in time like a limbo<br/> To say the least<br/> Currently as I exist as a man, beyond any shadow of doubt, I am real<br/> And this is life on earth, prior to any kind of death, spiritually or physically<br/> <br/> I've pled with the creator.<br/> I've pled with him<br/> I've asked him to help me be okay<br/> Maybe that's a problem<br/> Maybe the cigarettes just aren't hitting me<br/> And I feel like I should probably give up<br/> Hang out the stove in my home of poverty and build on pain and bones in a city where lackluster existence is a thing<br/> And I light the stove, I turn the dial over, like a new minute on the clock<br/> I suppose the hope I'm hanging to is but an illusion<br/> Since time is really irrelevant to the human psyche<br/> <br/> And they say time is of the essence, whether times just a way we measure things than it actually exists<br/> And the essence doesn't actually exist and it's all a void or a fever dream that we continue to live in<br/> And I too think I have the mind of Christ<br/> Or so I was told once in a book written thousands of years ago by multiple men<br/> Who I would hope were divinely inspired<br/> Or maybe in an era that we're in, I wanted for miracles to occur<br/> But these days it feels like a bad letdown<br/> <br/> Think of an album that you will love<br/> And it doesn't come out<br/> It more or less festers<br/> And they build a hype around it<br/> And then the day of it is released<br/> <br/> The results are very underwhelming<br/> And you feel like you just waited all that time for something that could never give you what you expected<br/> Or would have ever hoped for<br/> So the hype dies<br/> Much like a candle blowing in the wind<br/> And you forget all about it until the next time<br/> When they try to reprogram you to believe that the artist creating the next album<br/> Will be hopefully living up to what you always needed from them<br/> <br/> But they already lost their careers<br/> Either to ego or to a lack of belief in anything<br/> So they got strung out and shipped something to the executives<br/> And that's when you realize<br/> The industry is just a money making machine<br/> And passion dies when the dollar sign becomes more important than the reason for being there in the first place<br/> So I take a breath<br/> And I sit down<br/> And I sit and I ponder everything<br/> And here I am<br/> Looking into nothing<br/> Cause I'm going to set my phone down<br/> <br/> And continue this deep, pointless talk<br/> Trying to put on a facade of my realism<br/> Like I'm asked to read a pointless effort<br/> Some philosopher must have made that a thing to coin<br/> So another perspective and angle can be given towards this thing we don't understand called life<br/> What a very concerning and confusing state of consciousness we're in<br/> And I don't know if I'm able to balance the efforts here and me<br/> More so than my own personal healing and growth<br/> Than anything else<br/> I'll call this a diary entry<br/> I don't know if I'm speaking in rhythm<br/> But what is rhythm<br/> <br/> It's just a relative thing<br/> Beauty<br/> Music<br/> Whatever it is<br/> The eye of the beholder<br/> And most of us are just blinded by the poison in the air<br/> To really know if we're seeing what's really there<br/> I never really thought about Jesus Christ<br/> I never really thought about God<br/> And I asked myself about this man who did everything right and still wasn't enough for them<br/> Would I have wanted to know him<br/> Would I have wanted to be the one<br/> And I tried to nail those hands and feet<br/> <br/> Honestly<br/> Probably because that's what everybody that was supposed to be his loved ones did<br/> His friends murdered him<br/> I murdered him<br/> Without reason<br/> Unbelievable<br/> And I'm trying to ask him if he'll forgive me for that<br/> Because knowing who I know as Jesus now<br/> He's just a very good man<br/> And a very great God<br/> Because time does not promise us anything other than these seconds<br/> Thankfully, somehow, he lives in my heart<br/> I definitely did not lose every bit of energy I could have lost<br/> Due to the coldness of almost scorching winter<br/> Known as<br/> 2022, 2023<br/> Whatever year it is<br/> But life is not always easy<br/> In fact, it's cold<br/> <br/> It's often dark and desolate<br/> And I guess my bones<br/> They don't feel like the fire shut up in them anymore<br/> I did not ask myself what the prophets ever did in a season of silence<br/> My season of rebellion has often been met with silence<br/> One in four years<br/> But I still wonder about the cross<br/> The old hill<br/> And the ruggedness of it<br/> <br/> I wonder how it felt<br/> To die willingly<br/> Knowing it was going to be the worst experience a human could ever face<br/> And even the gods can cry, right<br/> Well, that one sure did<br/> Tears of blood as he awaited<br/> What he would have to behold A cup of wrath poured out<br/> <br/> And that's not fair<br/> If he is God<br/> We did him wrong<br/> And if he wasn't, we kind of still did him wrong<br/> If Jesus was mad man, after all<br/> Then what does that say about human beings and how they treat the mentally ill<br/> We're shitty<br/> God help us all<br/> Our hearts are dark and futile<br/> Fuck this place
Submitted by Nargaroth — Jun 18, 2026
Fading lies<br/> Dying dreams<br/> Your disguise<br/> Set it free<br/> <br/> I feel the prick<br/> Tyranny<br/> This dark of trick<br/> Not turning back<br/> <br/> When I erase your hate<br/> Your betrayal was in vain<br/> <br/> Cruel act of violence<br/> You remain silent<br/> In the silence<br/> You have brought this to my door<br/> Judas failed his final war<br/> <br/> I will rise<br/> And purge your poison<br/> Watch it die<br/> Below the surface<br/> <br/> I see through you<br/> Beyond the failure<br/> The real<br/> You tried to kill<br/> It's the end of you<br/> <br/> Now your sickness dwells beneath<br/> Shattered godhead from the thief<br/> Your perfect dreams diseased<br/> <br/> Spitting out his broken teeth<br/> It's time you flee
Submitted by Nargaroth — Jun 18, 2026
Feeling so betrayed<br/> By the world around me<br/> Feeling so dismayed<br/> This world leaves me finding nothing<br/> <br/> Will there ever be the same?<br/> I'm so tired of these games<br/> Could we smother in the flames<br/> Find the peace within the gray<br/> Peace within the gray<br/> <br/> Feeling so naive<br/> By the way it's changing<br/> Shouldn't have to leave<br/> Don't change these surroundings<br/> <br/> Would it ever be the same?<br/> Wish they wouldn't kill my name<br/> Try to make me see<br/> Another life of misery<br/> The life of misery<br/> <br/> Waiting at the crossroads<br/> Feeling like I am abandoned<br/> <br/> Would it change a single thing?<br/> If I never went away<br/> I'd still feel you next to me<br/> Maybe tell me anything
Submitted by Nargaroth — Jun 18, 2026
Let not your heart be troubled Come to me, all who are weary<br/> And I will give you rest<br/> <br/> Turn my sorrow into joy<br/> Set the captives free<br/> The blood of the lamb reigns<br/> <br/> I'm alone and often weary<br/> I will run to the calvary<br/> My soul will shout in praise<br/> I will remain<br/> <br/> You have turned my sorrow into laughter<br/> Joy renewed<br/> I will never be able to<br/> Tell you how grateful I am<br/> I remain steadfast in the promise<br/> Light the way, illuminate<br/> <br/> Through the gates<br/> Through the morning every thought<br/> Behold the lamb<br/> The lamb of God<br/> Passover from death unto life<br/> No longer bound to this<br/> Grip of darkness<br/> From the highest of heavens<br/> He came to save our soul<br/> <br/> He washed me clean<br/> He paid my debt<br/> In the middle<br/> He maketh a table for me<br/> In the presence of my enemies<br/> <br/> Though I am broken I will not grow weary<br/> My joy is made complete<br/> Be still my soul<br/> Never relent<br/> Blessing overflows my soul<br/> <br/> How can I behold spirit light<br/> I'm still weighed down<br/> By the darkened arrow drawn<br/> I am redeemed<br/> From the fall<br/> He opened up to write in<br/> He died and gave his life as a ransom for many<br/> Victory is already set in stone<br/> Jehovah lives to make intercession<br/> Set the captives free<br/> Creator Lord<br/> Faith redeemed<br/> Let not your heart be troubled<br/> <br/> I am redeemed<br/> With an eternal promise<br/> Jesus reigns<br/> Jesus, I am redeemed<br/> Set the captives free
Submitted by Nargaroth — Jun 18, 2026
Set the world ablaze<br/> Redemptive power gone<br/> No value worth it's salt<br/> A breath brought unto none<br/> Human fear unbound<br/> Horror in the sound<br/> Unearthed as we've sought<br/> Addicts that it can cause<br/> Consciousness in caskets<br/> Now too gone it's tragic<br/> Workings of the deep<br/> Nightmare whispers sleep<br/> Self in sordid malevolent<br/> Forsaken in it's covenant<br/> Behold all the secrets<br/> To gaze without a care<br/> Turn the bloodstained pages<br/> To unveil the mystery<br/> Twined in obtuse thinking<br/> Thus suppressing many minds<br/> Open up the limbs of the petulance of past<br/> Our dreams are now<br/> Existent in an iconoclast<br/> Frightening insects see their friends<br/> To those who score the part<br/> Never seem to be<br/> A scorched severed trinity<br/> Reeking of anxiety<br/> I give no eye to design<br/> I've only came in paradigms<br/> The cloud connects to the source<br/> I'll be your discourse<br/> Empty the pill<br/> Climbing back into the night<br/> Scorched within unison<br/> Prop their needs a connector<br/> Sovereign but in so shall reigns<br/> They could never infiltrate<br/> Violate and obey<br/> Dualistic shame<br/> Find out all but nothing<br/> It's time our power is unleashed<br/> No real way to gauge<br/> But know I'll never be bled<br/> Open up the mind<br/> Entries are now exits<br/> To a new iconoclast<br/> Find it a deafening threat to those who<br/> Scorn the worms<br/> Worms observant of clear loyalty<br/> Blasphemy<br/> The sadness often I am dreaming out
Submitted by Nargaroth — Jun 18, 2026
Let's take a journey<br/> A destination beyond hell<br/> No stops along the way<br/> Life is but a fallacy<br/> Enjoy the view<br/> When nothing is true<br/> We built an empire<br/> It ends in a blaze<br/> Tear yourself apart<br/> Can't turn around<br/> No fucking exit<br/> It serves me well<br/> I'm pleased to show you<br/> All I have seen<br/> Between the brokenness<br/> No way to come clean<br/> Can I send for a ride home<br/> Past the point of dying<br/> Nothing left to say to you<br/> A whimper is my swan song<br/> What have we learned<br/> A lesson for a choke<br/> Become the fall out<br/> Deny yourself<br/> It's a cold step to the grave<br/> One foot in the final fight<br/> A whisper to a sigh<br/> Ending every bit of light<br/> You told me lies<br/> Said I was full of life<br/> A candle burns<br/> I embrace the winds of night<br/> Is it all I find<br/> Only misery in sight<br/> Let's take a journey<br/> A destination beyond hell<br/> No stops along the way<br/> Life is but a fallacy<br/> Enjoy the view<br/> When nothing is true<br/> We built an empire<br/> It ends in a blaze<br/> Tear yourself apart<br/> Can't turn around<br/> No fucking exit<br/> It serves me well<br/> I'm pleased to show you<br/> All I have seen<br/> Between the brokenness<br/> No way to come clean<br/> Can I send for a ride home<br/> Past the point of dying<br/> Nothing left to say to you<br/> A whimper is my swan song<br/> What have we learned<br/> A lesson for a choke<br/> Become the fall out<br/> Deny yourself<br/> It's a cold step to the grave<br/> One foot in the final fight<br/> A whisper to a sigh<br/> Ending every bit of light<br/> You told me lies<br/> Said I was full of life<br/> A candle burns<br/> I embrace the winds of night<br/> I'm fading of into a dark place<br/> And no one can even save me<br/> I'm fading off into embracing suicide<br/> And nothing will ever fix me<br/> I'm broken and I'm numb<br/> And all of this is gone<br/> Betray the heart of God<br/> Your lifeline a facade
Submitted by Nargaroth — Jun 18, 2026
Feeling the depression and the weight of the discretion and I know it's never going to let me go.<br/> I got a bunch of feelings but I know it's really silly so I've gotta let the motherfucka go.<br/> She would never love me, she would always be above me and I start to see the pattern in my life<br/> Betrayal is a bitch and I start to flip script, but I gotta turn perspective to the light<br/> And she's so lovely, the little devil's mocking, I think I hear her talking<br/> Don't come if we are rocking, it's never gonna be the same<br/> As I find my feet in flames and my fire burning with desire now<br/> I feel a dull and tired high on her little fucking lies, now I gotta see it through the night<br/> I never wanna walk away, guess there's nothing I can say<br/> I just wanna hold her till we collapse, hold her till we collapse, hold her till we collapse<br/> Relapse, I relapse, I relapse on the lights<br/> Cause when she's with me, my feelings always lifting<br/> My spirit's while we're fucking, I know it will now crush me<br/> <br/> I know it will now crush me, I'm starting to feel lovely<br/> Caught up in the burning, I'm caught up in not learning<br/> When I close my eyes I see her cry, now I gotta wonder why if it's past the time<br/> Cause now I feel a new disguise, and in between her fucking thighs there's where my face lies<br/> <br/> And I know that I'm going sane as it punches me insane inside of my fucking brain tonight<br/> In my brain tonight, in my fucking brain tonight, in my brain tonight, in my fucking brain tonight<br/> Don't wanna fight these feelings anymore, these feelings anymore, these feelings anymore, no<br/> I just wanna be the only one, the only one, the only one<br/> <br/> Can you tell me how to get to where I need to be with her<br/> First base, new place, gotta crash this party real quick<br/> I'm thinking with my dick, I'm not so slick<br/> All I know is the lust in my soul is controlling me from this bound<br/> I just wanna go one more round, thinking with my dick while I pound
Submitted by Nargaroth — Jun 18, 2026
Hypothetically speaking<br/> Just for an instance humor me<br/> Let's say that I was all omniscient<br/> And all omnipotent<br/> Then imagine I had to jot down all my feelings<br/> So perfectly in line with my character<br/> For the first time I'd probably be stumped<br/> I wouldn't know how to say anything<br/> <br/> The only pleasure in life<br/> Was knowing I'm not the only light<br/> The only solace I could find<br/> Was somewhere in your light<br/> And somewhere in those eyes<br/> <br/> Let's just pretend and let's just believe<br/> That maybe somehow this whole world was mine<br/> I'd burn it all and I'd throw away my salvation<br/> I'd put myself in hell<br/> If there was anyway to just know<br/> That maybe I'd feel what I'd feel with you<br/> <br/> The only pleasure in life<br/> Was knowing I'm not the only light<br/> The only solace I could find<br/> Was somewhere in your light<br/> And somewhere in those eyes
Submitted by Nargaroth — Jun 18, 2026