The Thunderfist Chronicles

I have travelled cross the land in search of fame and gold With the wind upon my sails and a heart both brave and bold Through raging storms and seas untamed, my ship did never stray For naught can stop a pirate's quest to claim his treasure's pay A pint of whisky in my hand, a map clenched tight and worn To islands far and wide I've sailed since days you were not born A thousand sights that I have seen, the stories I could tell And for the things that I have done I'll see you all in hell Set sail for glory We quest for gold under blood-red skies We are the piratеs Our tale has just begun Set sail for glory Our bladеs are sharp to the end of time Steal all your treasure We'll spend it all on rum When desperation leads you to the point of no return No longer can you idly stand and watch the empire burn A life spent hanging from a thread is not the life for me The precipice awaits you and oblivion is free The time has come for you to scream So raise your voices up and join the fray You'll die today This is a battle for the souls of men Either you're with us or you're one of them It's time to choose your side for wars to come Are you a cunt, or do you drink rum? Set sail for glory We quest for gold under blood-red skies We are the pirates Our tale has just begun Set sail for glory Our blades are sharp to the end of time Steal all your treasure We'll spend it all on rum For years we've voyaged on this cursed ship of death Living like we'll never die 'til we draw our final breath But now the reaper lies ahead I feel the end is near And when it's time to follow him we'll drink one final beer The end has come I won't join the setting sun All things must come to pass? Stick that up your fucking ass We will return You can't kill that what doesn't learn No braincells left to understand So here I'll make my final stand This is a battle for the souls of men Either you're with us or you're one of them It's time to choose your side for wars to come Are you a cunt, or do you drink rum? This is a battle for the souls of men Either you're with us or you're one of them It's time to choose your side for wars to come Are you a cunt, or do you drink rum? Set sail for glory We quest for gold under blood-red skies We are the pirates Our tale has just begun Set sail for glory Our blades are sharp to the end of time Steal all your treasure We'll spend it all on rum We'll spend it all on rum

Submitted by NecroGod — Feb 07, 2026

Some men are killed by gunfire Some men are killed by swords Some men are killed by undead minions Of the zombie horde Some men fall off buildings And splatter to a paste Some men will shit their guts to death When poison they do taste Explosions in the night Your fucking ship is burning bright Your doom comes from the sea Killed to death by piracy Gunfire and cannon blasts The pirate horde will kick your ass Your doom comes from the sea Killed to dеath by piracy Some men are killеd by robots Some men are killed by cars Some men will die asleep in bed But that's not very yarr Some men are killed in outer space While walking on the moon Some men will have their entrails gouged out With a rusty spoon There's just one death that matters to me You must be killed by piracy Explosions in the night Your fucking ship is burning bright Your doom comes from the sea Killed to death by piracy Gunfire and cannon blasts The pirate horde will kick your ass Your doom comes from the sea Killed to death by piracy Explosions in the night Your fucking ship is burning bright Your doom comes from the sea Killed to death by piracy Explosions in the night Your fucking ship is burning bright Your doom comes from the sea Killed to death by piracy Gunfire and cannon blasts The pirate horde will kick your ass Your doom comes from the sea Killed to death by piracy

Submitted by NecroGod — Feb 07, 2026

Banana daiquiri I wake up as the sun goes down Inject my brain with alcohol and wear my party crown It's a pirate's life every single fucking day If you're not drinking rum get the fuck out my way We can do what we wanna do Drink a pint of gin from a homeless guy's shoe We will die when we wanna die The madness only stops when we're bleeding from our eyes I'm living my best life as a pirate Sailing 'cross the seas Yeah, I'm doing what I please My best life as a pirate Yeah, I'm drinking lots of rum 'Causе I love it I'm living my best life as a piratе Shoot a cannon through the door Puke my guts up on the floor The sun will soon be rising And we're running out of time So tonight we're gonna party Like it's 1699 Don't give a fuck if we live or if we die (You're a bunch of cunts, you're a bunch of wankers) So raise your hook in the Caribbean sky (Stick it up your butt, stick it up your arsehole) We're on a quest to the middle of the sea (Fuck the fucking land, fuck the fucking mountains) So pour me a mug of banana daiquiri (Banana daiquiri) I'm living my best life as a pirate Sailing 'cross the seas Yeah, I'm doing what I please My best life as a pirate Yeah, I'm drinking lots of rum 'Cause I love it I'm living my best life as a pirate Shoot a cannon through the door Puke my guts up on the floor The sun will soon be rising And we're running out of time So tonight we're gonna party Like it's 1699 I'm living my best life as a pirate Sailing 'cross the seas Yeah, I'm doing what I please My best life as a pirate Yeah, I'm drinking lots of rum 'Cause I love it I'm living my best life as a pirate Shoot a cannon through the door Puke my guts up on the floor The sun will soon be rising And we're running out of time So tonight we're gonna party Like it's 1699

Submitted by NecroGod — Feb 07, 2026

Frozen Piss Part Two Ten years I was lost at sea Trapped under ice for eternity 'Til a meteor crashed with a sonic boom (Sail on to escape your doom) Now it's time to take revenge On the cunts who led me to my end It's time to fight, I'm getting pissed (I'm the Mighty Thunderfist) From the skies up above to the seas below When you hear my name only fear you'll know The sword in my hand with the kiss of death On this day I will fight to my final breath From thе skies up above to the sеas below When the lightning strikes and the storm winds blow The legend lives on in eternal fame And the fist of the thunder shall be my name My fate was sealed The day that I was born The sky burned green Upon a corpse an oath was sworn A pint raised high To the raging storm-wrought skies This frozen piss I wield it in my mighty thunder fist (Die) I'm gonna kill you all A blade to the guts and a punch in the balls The hate in my veins runs deep and pure (Your death is the only cure) In a stinking town near the Isle of Wight I buried my treasure in the dead of night I hid the map in a sea-lashed cave (Its secret I'll take to the grave) From the skies up above to the seas below When you hear my name only fear you'll know The sword in my hand with the kiss of death On this day I will fight to my final breath From the skies up above to the seas below When the lightning strikes and the storm winds blow The legend lives on in eternal fame And the fist of the thunder forever be my name Ā ikazuchi yo waga ude ni yadosu hikari Ikari ni furue hana wo tsumu Ā bōnmasu no gyofutachi wa kaku katariki Towa no tōdo ni nageku kano mono Hanate yo ima inazuma From the skies up above to the seas below When you hear my name only fear you'll know The sword in my hand with the kiss of death On this day I will fight to my final breath From the skies up above to the seas below When the lightning strikes and the storm winds blow The legend lives on in eternal fame And the fist of the thunder shall be my name The fist of the thunder shall be my name The fist of the thunder forever be my name Thunderfist

Submitted by NecroGod — Feb 07, 2026

As I roam the shadowed shore The waves sing of ancient lore A whisper deep beneath the foam It calls me back to seas unknown I breathe the salt, it burns my eyes The cliffs tremble, the ocean cries The watchers gaze eternally In prophecy Fire paints a moonlit sky All opposing me shall die I am the storm Enemies are struck with fear The final words your crew will hear I am the storm In ritual, my path is traced The sigils carved in this ancient place Through drowned tongues, my voice ignites The sands move in shadowed night The sea devours, the cliffs will fall The heavens burn, the sirens call Unleash the wrath of Ve-Eplu's hand None can withstand Fire paints a moonlit sky All opposing me shall die I am the storm Enemies are struck with fear The final words your crew will hear I am the storm Fire paints a moonlit sky All opposing me shall die I am the storm Enemies are struck with fear The final words your crew will hear I am the storm Darkness calls the sacred tide The gulls in silence prophesied I am the storm The depths will swallow all you've known Carved into your dying bones I am the storm

Submitted by NecroGod — Feb 07, 2026

We cross the seas upon a ship with blackened sails The ocean waves will lead us to our holy grail 'Cause there's a place that I know that we must go where lives a maiden fair And today our quest will surely take us there Woo With her long flowing locks And her eyes of emerald green She's the fiercest looking lassie You have likely ever seen But it's not just her demeanor Or the passion in hеr eyes It's the trеasure in her chest That'll make your heart capsize She's got giant boobs Like the mountains of the deep Her curves are like the waves Crashing on shore with every beat She's a siren of the sea With a heart that's pure and mild But it's her giant boobs That make us all go wild Woo yeah We found the mountains of the deep Enough to make a grown man weep And cry and get down on his knees And beg for more These giant boobs are just so good I never could ignore She's got giant boobs Like the mountains of the deep Her curves are like the waves Crashing on shore with every beat She's a siren of the sea With a heart that's pure and mild But it's her giant boobs That make us all go wild She's got giant boobs Like the mountains of the deep Her curves are like the waves Crashing on shore with every beat She's a siren of the sea With a heart that's pure and mild But it's her giant boobs That make us all go wild Oh yeah She's got giant boobs

Submitted by NecroGod — Feb 07, 2026

"Caw, caw" "Arr, a pirate, a goblin, and a priest walk into a bar" "A goblin, a goblin, a g-g-goblin" "I know, I'm getting to the part with the goblins." "No, no, no, captain, th-there be goblins" "Surprise" "Ahh" "Shiver me timbers." "I'll take your skin" "Caw" Sailing relaxed, endless blue Nowhere to go, nothing to do Running low on pirate brew Frightening shortage of wenches to screw A cryptic shadow on the horizon Set camp and explore, lest they should wizen The pirates unearth a mysterious grave Could this be the magical treasure they crave? And as the pirates sailed onwards, towards certain doom, all they could think about was how wonderful it would be to pillage an uncharted island, for they had found an ancient map, buried deep within the sands of the grave The map read 'Goblin Island' Slice, slice, dice, dice Cutting the pirates into bite-sized portions of flesh La la la lala And then we'll feast on their brains for our meal Chomp, chomp, chomp And then we'll make funny hats from their skin Ripping and tearing We'll use their organs as toys The pirates drop anchor close to the shore Eager to find out what lies in store Camp is set up near the menacing mountains At midnight the necks turn to bloody fountains The goblins come out from their goblin caves Ready to make the intruders their slaves Psychotic war cry, green-skinned braves The skin is stripped from pirate knaves "Yarr, that little green bastard stole my skin Who's got your skin now, you dirty pirate?" Out of the dark, the goblins march One by one, through the goblin arch Ready to kill the sleeping foes To pluck off every one of their toes Slaughter begins, the mayhem unthinkable Pirate blood's especially drinkable Let's make jewelry out of their bones And break their jaws with tiny stones La lala lala lala lalalalala lalalalala La, la, Lalalalalalala hey La lala lala lala lalalalala lalalalala La, la, Lalalalalalala hey La la lala la la la la la la la la La la lala la la la la la la la la la Looting and pillaging cut short by death The cold embrace of a goblin's breath Broken in half and stuffed into a chest By furious goblins with no need to rest Ripping and tearing, shredding the bastards Pirates are fast, but goblins are faster Bandits now slaves to ferocious green masters What once was a voyage is now a disaster La la la laa

Submitted by Iron_Wraith — Nov 09, 2025

Long is the road we have travelled Far from the lands we call home Lost in a dream of eternity On a quest to horizons unknown Forged in the fires of warfare Drawn from the gathering mist We will rise from the ashes of chaos For the treasure of the Thunderfist Down into the endless spiral I descend Black oceans closing in I see the centuries of torment without end The price of all my sins Cosmic mysteries of time will now unfold Waves come crashing down A shipwrecked vessel from a legend once foretold Upon its flag, a silver crown When the stars in the sky fade away And empires shatter and fall We will rise from the depths of the sea To heed the voyager's call Sailing under the flag of a land Now lost to shadow and war To the ends of the earth we will quest Eternal forevermore I heard the whispers Of a treasure lost For countless centuries Far deep beneath the sea The shaman lord of Dorset Took me to his hidden cave To learn forbidden secrets Stolen from beyond the grave Yeah Dreams, dreams, dreams of a skeleton Pointing a finger of crumbling bone East, east, east to the precipice Lytchett Matravers and Ashington Dreams, dreams, dreams of a skeleton Show me a future that I have missed It comes to me in a waking dream Treasure so mega and supreme Of the eternal Thunderfist When the stars in the sky fade away And empires shatter and fall We will rise from the depths of the sea To heed the voyager's call Sailing under the flag of a land Now lost to shadow and war To the ends of the earth we will quest Eternal forevermore Eternal forevermore Eternal forevermore Wondrous city of Bournemouth Land of the drunkards who yearn to be free Raise your beer, drink like you mean it Bournemouth, the place where a pirate should be Terrible city of Bournemouth Land where the toilets flow into the sea Raise your beer, drink like you mean it Bournemouth, the place for a pirate like me My voyage led me to an eldritch chamber beneath the forsaken city of Bournemouth What terrible secrets might I discover? Long is the road we have travelled Far from the lands we call home Lost in a dream of eternity On a quest to horizons unknown Forged in the fires of warfare Drawn from the gathering mist In the calm of the storm I still wander 'Til the light of the dawn will persist Under the moon's silent gaze I must tread where the spirits prevail Chasing the meaning of a hidden rhyme, now lost to time Through streets that echo with songs of secrets buried in the sand This gilded map of ancient lies, still clenched within my hand Violently escaping parameters of life Vicious eccentric pirate lords Vindicating eternal powerful legends Ve-Eplu rides at dawn Long is the road we have travelled Far from the lands we call home Lost in a dream of eternity On a quest to horizons unknown Forged in the fires of warfare Drawn from the gathering mist We will rise from the ashes of chaos For the treasure of the Thunderfist Wondrous city of Bournemouth, give up your treasures to me I am the heir of the Thunderfist, I rule the land and the sea Long is the road that we've travelled, empires did shatter and fall Now that the end of the quest is in sight, you must heed this voyager's call There are no diamonds There's no gold to be found Fooled by the lies of a madman Nothing concealed underground But my life was not wasted And this bond will not fray For the real treasure's the friends we made along the way Long is the road we have travelled Far from the lands we call home Lost in a dream of eternity On a quest to horizons unknown Forged in the fires of warfare Drawn from the gathering mist We will rise from the ashes of chaos For the treasure of the Thunderfist We will rise from the ashes of chaos For the treasure of the Thunderfist When the stars in the sky fade away And empires shatter and fall We will rise from the depths of the sea To heed the voyager's call Sailing under the flag of a land Now lost to shadow and war To the ends of the earth we will quest Eternal forevermore (Eternal) When the stars in the sky fade away And empires shatter and fall (Forevermore) We will rise from the depths of the sea To heed the voyager's call (Eternal) Sailing under the flag of a land Now lost to shadow and war To the ends of the earth we will quest (Forevermore) Eternal forevermore (Eternal) When the stars in the sky fade away And empires shatter and fall (Forevermore) We will rise from the depths of the sea To heed the voyager's call (Eternal) Sailing under the flag of a land Now lost to shadow and war (Forevermore) To the ends of the earth we will quest Eternal forevermore (Eternal) When the stars in the sky fade away And empires shatter and fall (Forevermore) We will rise from the depths of the sea To heed the voyager's call (Eternal) Sailing under the flag of a land Now lost to shadow and war (Forevermore) To the ends of the earth we will quest Eternal forevermore (Eternal) When the stars in the sky fade away And empires shatter and fall (Forevermore) We will rise from the depths of the sea

Submitted by NecroGod — Feb 07, 2026