40 More Reasons to Hate Us

You're not fucking hardcore, you're not avant garde You're not punk rock, you're just a fucking retard You're not something special, you're not something new You're not fucking good, face it you're a metal band

Submitted by MetalElf — Feb 20, 2026

In all your reviews you always talk about yourself No one really cares how drunk or high you are You always write about the dumbest fucking bands It figures you live in Allston You try and take over everything you're involved in You started a new column because your camera got broken Are you gonna start a new column when i punch your face in?

Submitted by MetalElf — Feb 20, 2026

Kill women - die Kill women - die Kill women - die Bitch

Submitted by MetalElf — Feb 20, 2026

His mustache is big—but his muscles are bigger His mustache is big—but his penis is smaller His mustache is big—but his muscles are bigger His mustache is big—but his penis is smaller

Submitted by MetalElf — Feb 20, 2026

Everyone in Allston should be killed That fucking faggot with the gay tee That loser payphone junkie That fucking fag, Joe Bonni Everyone in Toxic Narcotic

Submitted by MetalElf — Feb 20, 2026

I saw you buying a Pearl Jam record And I noticed that you're gay I saw you hanging around in Allston And I noticed that you're gay I saw you riding around on your rollerblades And I noticed that you're gay I saw you getting your tongue pierced And I noticed that you're gay I heard you spend all day on the internet And I noticed that you're gay I saw you drinking a Frappuccino And I noticed that you're gay I saw you wearing a fucking tree shirt And I noticed that you're gay You've got a tribal tattoo And I noticed that you're gay

Submitted by MetalElf — Feb 20, 2026

Shannon Hoon, you're dead Kurt Cobain, you're dead Jerry Garcia, you're dead Elton John, you're gay Joe Bonni, you're gay Jim J. Bullock, you're gay Bolt Thrower, you're dropped Suffocation, you're dropped Napalm Death, you're dropped You're deader than Sharon Tate and her baby You've swallowed more cum than Rod Stewart You've sold less records than Old Lady Drivers You're dead, you're gay, you're dropped Pedro Zamora, you're dead Freddie Mercury, you're dead Mr. Jessup, you're dead Michael Stipe, you're gay Quentin Crisp, you're gay Fred Schneider, you're gay Sacred Reich, you're dropped Cathedral, you're dropped Immolation, you're dropped You're deader than Rock Hudson and Liberace You've swallowed more cum than Truman Capote You've sold less records than Candiria and Dead World You're dead, you're gay, you're dropped

Submitted by MetalElf — Feb 20, 2026

You look divorced You look divorced You've got that mopey look on your face You're 3 months behind on your alimony payments You're pissed off, your ex married someone new And you're also pissed off because he's a fucking Jew You look divorced You look divorced You look divorced You look divorced You sit in a bar, you're always pissed You're number four on the deadbeat dad list You're fired from your job because you're a fucking drunk You'll never get her back because you're a fucking loser You look divorced You look divorced You look divorced You look divorced

Submitted by MetalElf — Feb 20, 2026

First you fucked a nigga you ugly fucking whore Ran out of men in Canada and came here for more You could shower all your life and you'd never get clean Because you fucked someone that wore afro sheen I hope you get deported You make me sick I hope you get deported You sucked a nigga's dick You've got no life and you talk to your pets I hate you so much I want to call the I.N.S You work at a snack bar and your father pays your rent Fucking nigga titties with a political bent I hope you get deported You make me sick I hope you get deported You sucked a nigga's dick

Submitted by MetalElf — Feb 20, 2026

Mike Mahan has gingivitis Mike Mahan Mike Mahan has gingivitis Mike

Submitted by MetalElf — Feb 20, 2026

Trapped, trapped trapped, you Trapped, trapped trapped, you Trapped, trapped trapped, you Trapped, trapped trapped, you  Trapped, trapped trapped, you

Submitted by MetalElf — Feb 20, 2026

You're fucking annoying and your band fucking sucks Your boyfriend's an idiot and you're a fucking cunt You think you're so important and want everyone to suck up I hope you OD and die real soon, 'cause you're a fucking cunt Fifteen year kids don't care about animal's and women's rights But you force it down their throats, 'cause you're a fucking cunt Your writing's about as interesting as Allen Funt's I hope you die, 'cause you're a fucking cunt You're a fucking cunt! Huah! You're fucking annoying and your band fucking sucks Your boyfriend's an idiot and you're a fucking cunt You think you're so important and want everyone to suck up I hope you OD and die real soon, 'cause you're a fucking cunt You're a fucking cunt! You're a fucking cunt! You're a fucking cunt! You're a fucking cunt!

Submitted by MetalElf — Feb 20, 2026

You're a fucking cunt, you're old and dried up You're a crusty old bitch, I hope you fucking die You're an ugly bitch, you make me fucking sick You're big fucking mouth, I'm sick of hearing it

Submitted by MetalElf — Feb 20, 2026

Al Stankus is always on the phone with his bookie (x4) He's on the phone to Puerto Rico He's on the phone to the Dominican Republic He's always gambling on college football games He buys cards from Tom Lehman Al Stankus is always on the phone with his bookie (x4) He's on the phone to Puerto Rico He's on the phone to the Dominican Republic He's always gambling on college football games He buys cards from Tom Lehman

Submitted by MetalElf — Feb 20, 2026

Bill Scott's dumb! Bill Scott's dumb! Bill Scott's dumb! Bill Scott's dumb! You were brought up in a nudist colony And you're also adopted too You wear those gay pink shorts And your dog shits all over the floor Bill Scott's dumb! Bill Scott's dumb! Bill Scott's dumb! Bill Scott's dumb! You fell down the stairs And your dog licked your balls You have an awesome job But you're always broke Your girlfriend is ugly, your mustache is gay Your dog's fucking stupid (this guy fucking sucks) and Bill Scott's dumb

Submitted by MetalElf — Feb 20, 2026

*burp* Harvey Korman is gay!

Submitted by MetalElf — Feb 20, 2026

You've got a fucking cleft palate (Palate!) And hair just like Gene Shalit (Shalit!) I wan't to hit you with a mallet! Your teeth are parted to the side (Side!) You've got a lazy eye (Eye!) Why don't you fucking hide? You're bow-legged and walk around like Ray (Ray!) And skin just like M.J. (J!) And you're so fucking gay! You hang around at Barca's Spa (Spa!) With a nose like Jamie Farr (Farr!) I want to hit you with my car You fucking freak

Submitted by MetalElf — Feb 20, 2026

Come and knock on our door (Come and knock on our door) We've been waiting for you (We've been waiting for you) Where the kisses are hers and hers and his Three's company, too Come and dance on our floor (Come and dance on our floor) Take a step that is new (Take a step that is new) Where the kisses are hers and hers and his Three's company, too (Random screaming) Three's company

Submitted by MetalElf — Feb 20, 2026

DON'T FUCKING DO IT MAN, YOU STUPID FUCKING CUNT! Jeanine Jizm is a freak (x4) WHO WALKS THE STAIR WITHOUT A CARE, IT SHOOTS SO HIGH IN THE SKY. BOUNCE UP AND DOWN LIKE A CLOWN. EVERYONE KNOWS IT'S SLINKY!

Submitted by MetalElf — Feb 20, 2026

Is that Scott and Tim, or Gilbert and Lewis I let them in the band, didn't know that they'd screw us Mike Mahan had no brains, Tim has no spine Fred's a fucking asshole, and Paul would always whine First we had a spic, a pollack, and a geek Who'll play guitar for Anal Cunt next week? Seth's an alcoholic, Tim can't play drums Everyone in Anal Cunt is dumb Fred had his hair in those stupid fucking braids Tim has a kid, but he never gets laid John dyed his hair, so we kicked him out of the band Scott's got a dumb tattoo on his hand

Submitted by MetalElf — Feb 20, 2026

I just saw the gayest guy on Earth I just saw the gayest guy on Earth I just saw the gayest guy on Earth I just saw the gayest guy on Earth He hangs around in Allston (Fuckin' fruit) He always wears a tree shirt His favorite band is Roadsaw He's out at The Model Café (You fuckin' fruit) I just saw the gayest guy on Earth I just saw the gayest guy on Earth I just saw the gayest guy on Earth I just saw the gayest guy on Earth He hangs out with Toxic Narcotic He's got a tribal tattoo His best friend is Joe Bonni He's got his eyebrow pierced (You fuckin' fruit) I just saw the gayest guy on Earth I just saw the gayest guy on Earth I just saw the gayest guy on Earth I just saw the gayest guy on Earth (You fuckin' fruit) He has purple dreadlocks He works at Herrell's Ice Cream He wears an "Allston Rock City" t-shirt I hope you fucking die I just saw the gayest guy on Earth I just saw the gayest guy on Earth I just saw the gayest guy on Earth I just saw the gayest guy on Earth I just saw the gayest guy on Earth I just saw the gayest guy on Earth I just saw the gayest guy on Earth I just saw the gayest guy on Earth I just saw the gayest guy on Earth I just saw the gayest guy on Earth I just saw the gayest guy on Earth

Submitted by MetalElf — Feb 20, 2026

Johnny Violent's fucking gay Ultraviolence fucking sucks Morrissey's gonna kick your ass I'm gonna catch you Johnny Violent's fucking dead

Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026

You both wear glasses, you both have bad teeth You both have bad dandruff, good fucking grief

Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026

I'm so fucking sick of you likes you  well then I hate you I'm so fuckin' sick of you above anyone else You everybody off I you Fuck you! I'm Sick of you!!!

Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026

Howard Wulkan's bald B-A-L-D, bald

Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026

You always talk behind my back, but when i see you, you want to shake my hand When i see you ready to fight, you change your story like I knew you might You grew up wanting to be just like me, but I'm not cool in your clique anymore I never changed with the trends like you did, so you're not allowed to like me anymore You always do whatever's fashionable, and you hate me cuz I don't You want to be everyone's friend, and you hate me cuz I won't You're defending someone you barely know, you're such a fucking homo

Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026

Tom Arnold! Tom Arnold! Tom Arnold!

Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026

1, 2, 3- I got athlete's foot Showering at Mike's (Oi! Oi!) I got athlete's foot (Oi! Oi! Oi!) Showering at Mike's (Oi! Oi!) I got athlete's foot (Oi! Oi! Oi!) Showering at Mike's (Oi! Oi!) Athletes foot at Mike's I got athlete's foot Showering at Mike's (Oi! Oi!) I got athlete's foot (Oi! Oi! Oi!) Showering at Mike's (Oi! Oi!) I got athlete's foot (Oi! Oi! Oi!) Showering at Mike's (Oi! Oi!) Athletes foot at Mike's I got athlete's foot Showering at Mike's (Oi! Oi!) I got athlete's foot (Oi! Oi! Oi!) Showering at Mike's (Oi! Oi!) I got athlete's foot (Oi! Oi! Oi!) Showering at Mike's (Oi! Oi!) Athletes foot at Mike's

Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026

Big pants, bigger loser Big pants, bigger loser Big pants, bigger loser Big pants, bigger loser You're such a fucking idiot I want to fucking kill you You want to look just like a nigga So you wear pants 30 times bigger

Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026

Marc Payson, Marc Payson Marc Payson is a drunk At 8 am he has a beer At 9 am he has a beer At 10 am he has a beer He's a fucking queer At 1 pm he has a beer At 2 pm he has a beer At 3 pm he has a beer Then he goes to work He always shows up drunk to work He always shows up drunk to meetings He's always drunk around the house I'm glad you got kicked out What's up with your hairline Your saxophone is doing fine You're 25 your kid Is 9 And your father just died

Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026

(Are gay) Your (Is gay) (Is gay) (You're gay) When your Your family's dumb, you've got a Your family's dumb and you're a

Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026

Your cousin's name is Furnace, he's a fucking dwarf

Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026

You've got a new t pass, just for retards You've got sagging breasts that are very large All over your wrinkled body, you've got lots of pimples And you've got a greasy hair coming out of your nipple Hey, you're dumb Hey, you're dumb Hey, you're dumb You live with your parents and you're 31 You pay no rent, because you're a bum You never clean your house, because you're depressed And you've still got a goddamn hairy breast Hey, you're dumb Hey, you're dumb Hey, you're dumb Fucking stupid You're going to San Francisco because you're gay Your boyfriend must be really desperate to get laid We'll always make fun of you, we'll never rest And you still got a goddamn hairy breast

Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026

Van full of retards, ha ha ha ha! Van full of retards, you drool on yourself! You couldn't even win a bronze in the Special Olympics Your parents are ashamed of themselves and you! Van full of retards, ha ha ha ha! Van full of retards, you drool on yourself!

Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026

You're a bunch of stupid little kids, you wanted to be just like us You're mad because we wouldn't do a split 7" with you You're mad because we're on a label Deche-Charge are a bunch of fucking losers Your favorite drummer is Charlie Infection I wanna punch your ugly little face in You're a bunch of fucking losers You don't know shit about anything

Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026

The underground scene is stupid Everyone You're so fucking gay The underground scene is stupid

Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026

Rebekah is dumb - she's fat and she's gross Rebekah is dumb - she's fat and she's gross With a bagel, sandwich, Ramirez, Guy Lombardo! (Holy shit!) Rebekah is dumb - she's fat and she's gross Rebekah is dumb - she's fat and she's gross

Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026

I'm not stubborn! I'm not stubborn! I'm not stubborn! It was so , that I had to You asshole, ruined my day By the way he , I knew he was gay I'm not stubborn! I'm not stubborn! I'm not stubborn! We make fun of you You fucking I'm not stubborn! I'm not stubborn! I'm not stubborn! I'm not stubborn! I'm not stubborn! I'm not stubborn! I'm not stubborn! I'm not stubborn!

Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026

Mike Mahan's Sty (x2)

Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026

You can grow a mustache overnight down in 02657 You can see the Village People every night down in 02657 Lenny takes his summer vacation down in 02657 Liberace is your neighbor down in 02657 Yeah!

Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026

Hear the pounding army of the night The call of metal summons us tonight And gather we on this site To behold the power and the might We wear leather, we wear spikes, we rule the night Off with the lights, hear the screams See the banging heads awaken to their dreams The sound of metal so loud it cracks the beams Played by warriors called the metal kings A hero's welcome for those who heed the call We are together, we are all With hands high, fists fill the air Against the world we stand Hands high, forever we'll be there Gloves of metal rule tonight! YAAAAHH!!! A hero's welcome for those who heed the call We are together, we are all With hands high, fists fill the air Against the world we stand Hands high, forever we'll be there Gloves of metal rule tonight Leather, Metal, Spikes and Chains Gloves of Metal raised to show the brave Into the darkness march the armies of the night Bound by metal we live the fight We wear leather, we wear spikes, we rule the night!

Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026

("Sung In The Key Of Gene Simmons Counting Money") Yeah! You'd better watch out I own a bank machine You only took out $10 I charged you for $19 I said you'd better watch out! You'd better watch out! I'm a Jew named Gene! I said you'd better watch out! Better look out! I said you'd better look out! Oh yeah! You better watch out!

Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026