The Unbelievable

The impossible, It becomes possible When you believe the UNBELIEVABLE! Tonight hell freezes over!

Submitted by Dahmers Fridge — Apr 26, 2025

My condition has left me cold to your pleas of mercy My perpetual ice-olation stems from controversy In this universe there is one absolute Everything freezes I’m as cold as I’m resolute! The iceman cometh, I’m the ruler You're not sending me to the cooler! Watch the numbers in your icy tomb For they are the harbingers of your doom! Tonight! Hell! Freezes! Over! Tonight! Hell! Freezes! Over! Demure or sleazy, my passion thaws for my bride alone I won’t stop till I bring her back, my mistakes I will atone Unless the city bows to my demands Their bones will turn to ice Blood will freeze in my hands! The iceman cometh, I’m the ruler You're not sending me to the cooler! My name is Freeze, learn it soon For it is the chilling sound of your doom! Tonight! Hell! Freezes! Over! Tonight! Hell! Freezes! Over! Tonight! Hell! Freezes! Over! Alright everyone! Chill! Chill! Chill! A freeze is coming Let’s kick some ice! All that I have done I did to preserve my wife Chilled to perfection my love is vast Finding a cure is still my task I’ll do the time, judgement passed Winter has come at last! Hell! Freezes! Over! Tonight! Hell! Freezes! Over! Tonight! Hell! Freezes! Over! Tonight! Hell! Freezes! Over! Tonight!

Submitted by Warbringer — Apr 26, 2025

Well I’m pregnant, can’t you see? The amplified effects of maternity Does my body disgust you? I’m sensitive, my nipples are too Morning sickness and mood swings Honeydew steifens and all these things Just can’t keep anything down Feel how soft my skin is now! Let me tell you… If I have a boy! His name will be Junior! If I have a girl! Her name will be Junior! When I have my baby! Its name will be Junior! My body! My choice! Now I feel so isolated Franks in the blankets are my favorites My strudelhund stomach lives Why are you being so negative? I always loved this song Going, always going and one day gone I should pause and hear for myself The joyful melody of life itself! Let me tell you right now! If I have a boy! His name will be Junior! If I have a girl! Her name will be Junior! When I have my baby! Its name will be Junior! My body! My choice! If I have a boy! His name will be Junior! If I have a girl! Her name will be Junior! When I have my baby! Its name will be Junior! My body! My choice! I feel my baby! My baby! Come on, right now OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!

Where am I going? I don't quite know I’m doing what I can to put away my foe There’s been a change of plan – Good morning, hi You’ll learn from me, now that I’ve come by! Everything is under control There’s a new sheriff on patrol Where am I going? Kindergarten class Six year olds are a pain in my ass! Reading, writing arithmetics Reading writing arithmetic! Too much homework makes me sick Too much homework makes me sick! Hey, I’m a police officer! I’m a cop, you idiot! I’m detective John Kimble Hey, I’m a police officer! I’m a cop, you idiot! I’m the party pooper! Where am I going? I don't quite know This is a ferret, hear my whistle blow Bring the toy to the carpet, take it back Very good deputies, you’re on track! Where am I going? My witness died I’m undercover to catch this guy This is a fire drill, time to go The classroom is my tree of woe! When it’s time to pass the test When it’s time to pass the test! Kindergarten is the best Kindergarten is the best! Hey, I’m a police officer! I’m a cop, you idiot! I’m detective John Kimble Hey, I’m a police officer! I’m a cop, you idiot! I’m the party pooper! GO!!! He’s not your hostage, he’s your own son! Relax, okay! I’ll put down my gun! Let the boy go! There’s nowhere to run! I know you far too well Time for you to go to hell!

Submitted by BloodShrine — Apr 26, 2025

Don’t you forget, you’re my number one customer I just work in sales but I’m still very muscular I’m really, really sorry – you’re right I really blew it If you want that turbo guy, I promise I will do it! The Turbo Man dolls, they’re all gone They’re not here, it’s all gone wrong I’m out here looking all over town Who told you you could eat my cookies? Put that cookie down! Now! Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen! Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen! I got it, I got it! This is my ball I’m not a pervert, I'm just looking for a doll Nothing but a bunch of red-suited sleaze Degenerates! Low lives! Criminals! Thieves! Enough of this, you better steer clear Now get your mother, I’ve had it up to here! I couldn’t find the kid a doll Now I yelled at him for no good reason at all! Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen! Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen! Now! It’s turbo time! You can always count on me! Now! It’s turbo time! You can always count on me! I’m out all day and he’s in my house  Putting up my star on my tree It’s time I start keeping my promises Jamie! Your daddy’s not mad at you! He loves you more than anything in the whole wide world You’re his all time favorite person Who would know better than me? I! Am! Your Turbo Man! You can always count on me! Now! It’s turbo time! You can always count on me! I! Am! Your Turbo Man! You can always count on me! Now! It’s turbo time! You can always count on me!

Submitted by NecroLord — Apr 26, 2025

I saw a whole bunch of crazy horses Running down the main street of the town And so I finally realized that, uh These were runaways and uh – You know! So I jumped on my horse and I Chased them down the street and I Ran after them and it was like crazy Their hoofs were beating on the ground! And they were going faster and faster I was getting faster and faster Catching up with them And the problem really was that there were Children and women and old men in danger in the street You know! And I! Kept going faster! It was really a dangerous situation! You know! I try to save them! Yeah I mean I do this everyday! I try to do the right thing, you know And so I kept running and running After them and finally I did catch up with them – Whoa! Whoa, whoa! Don’t worry! I got them under control! Excuse me ma’am What do you do for a living? Whoa! And they were going faster and faster I was getting faster and faster Catching up with themAnd the problem really was that there were Children and women and old men in danger in the street  You know! And I! Kept going faster! It was really a dangerous situation! You know! I try to save them! Yeah I mean I do this everyday! Yah!

Submitted by NecroGod — Apr 26, 2025

He’s probably just like me! I rowed my boat across the sea The pavement was his enemy! Did he like chess and poetry? Do you know where he might be? He’s so full of energy! We won’t be alone, we will find our real home We can be family, that’s right, you will see! We won’t be alone, we will find our real home We can be family, that’s right, you and me! We are twins! I’m your brother! We are just like one another We are twins! Born to be bad! Am I shit-faced yet? The doc’s a dickhead, that’s correct My back teeth are floating when I check I am pissed off for the first time! We have pasts we can leave behind We’ll find home with our strengths combined! We are twins! I’m your brother! We are just like one another! We are twins! We are twins! I’m your brother! We are just like one another! We are twins! The first rule in a crisis situation Negotiate first then attack last! Second rule in a crisis situation If you bluff, prepare to have your bluff called! The third rule in a crisis situation Yackety-yack, don’t talk back! Yuckety-yuck, the third rule is DUCK! Tonight is your night bro! Tonight is your night bro! Tonight is your night bro! Tonight is your night bro! We won’t be alone anymore! Now! We can be a family! We are twins! I’m your brother! We are just like one another! We are twins!

Submitted by BloodShrine — Apr 26, 2025