Legends From Beyond the Galactic Terrorvortex

Between the cosmic wake of a thousand solar nightmares... Chaos will reign eternal!

Submitted by Corpse Defiler — Apr 26, 2025

Regis Dundoniensis Furor Apocalyptus Magus Calamitosus Bellis Intergalactus Ancient cosmic wormhole Chaos lord arise I have returned from the future Into a terrible past Chaos and war on the plains of Dunkeld The armies of darkness amassed Is this a twisted dimension? Is this true reality? A symbol of evil is flying once more Above the proud spires of Dundee A burning black sun The siege of Dunkeld has begun Defeat of the ancient town is nigh In Hoots We Trust Horrifying fecal demons Rising up out of the caverns below Dark robotic astral zombies Eating the peasants who live in Glasgow Siege engines of hell's creation Blasting the walls with unholy fire Undead forces marching onward Army of evil so tragic and dire Look up to the sky A glorious battlecry The forces of justice call his name In Hoots We Trust (We Trust!) By the power of the Holy King of Unst (Hail Hoots!) For the Glory of Dundee To win this epic battle, in his power we must trust to set us free (Confutatis Maledictis Caledoniae!) In Hoots We Trust [Zargothrax:] "I am the Bane of Cowdenbeath The Scourge of Auchtermuchty Arch-Foe of the Questlords of Inverness Come face me in battle, Angus And prepare to meet thy doom!" Your dark dominion has corrupted Dundee With a swing of my hammer I'll end this misery! Legendary battle Epic war is fight What mystic enchantment has Zargothrax spun? My weapon has no effect, this fight can't be won [Zargothrax:] "Pathetic mortal scum! In this dimension, your hammer has no power over me Now, kneel before your Emperor Kneel before... Your God!" In Hoots We Trust (We Trust!) By the power of the Holy King of Unst (Hail Hoots!) For the Glory of Dundee To win this epic battle, in his power we must trust to set us free (Confutatis Maledictis Caledoniae!) In Hoots We Trust

Submitted by SerpentEve — Apr 26, 2025

Far to the East, an army of evil is rising Deathknights of Crail Under the spell of sorcerer's twisted design To darkness we hail With their blades of black fire they enslave the land Obeying their master's will The force of their terror no mortal can stand Knights of evil, kill Long ago in the distant future, they were a force for the light But now in the ancient times, they slaughter peasants by night We are the Masters of the Galaxy We're the Lords of Space Dundee The destroyers of reality On a quest for all eternity We're the Masters of the Galaxy We're the Lords of Space Dundee The destroyers of reality Knights of Evil, arise Leading the charge is the mightiest scion of evil Mighty indeed Proletius his name, grandmaster of death and decay Worship or bleed In another dimension he fought for the king And the glory of all Dundee Now corrupted by darkness he kills everything Mwah-ha-ha-ha! Stabbed through the heart with the Knife of Evil, it infected his brain Anti-Telharsic power now flowing through his veins We are the Masters of the Galaxy We're the Lords of Space Dundee The destroyers of reality On a quest that's never ending We're the Masters of the Galaxy We're the Lords of Space Dundee The destroyers of reality Knights of Evil, arise [Zargothrax:] "Grand Master Proletius! Dispatch your Knights of Evil to slaughter more peasants in Auchtermuchty!" [Proletius:] "As you command, Lord Zargothrax. Deathknights of Crail...TO BATTLE!" We are the Masters of the Galaxy We're the Lords of Space Dundee The destroyers of reality On a quest for all eternity We're the Masters of the Galaxy We're the Lords of Space Dundee The destroyers of reality Knights of Evil, arise

Submitted by Lake of Tears — Apr 26, 2025

I have arrived, in a world ruled by chaos and evil Darkness enfolds the land that I once called my home Lost in the realm of an ancient and powerful wizard Now I must quest to take back the Crystalline Throne Legends speak of a glen Where truth and justice still reign Ride far away cross the mighty River Tay Over mountains into the unknown Follow your heart, let it guide you through the dark To the Land of Unicorns Follow the path, laid down by the forces of justice Over the stones, and into the mountains of fire Fighting with trolls, and undead defenders of chaos Onwards I ride, in search of the land I desire Descend out of the mists The valley of Achnasheen Ride far away cross the mighty River Tay Over mountains into the unknown Follow your heart, let it guide you through the dark To the Land of Unicorns The mists are clearing now I see the realm before my eyes Ralathor the warrior greets me to the mystic land The Land of Unicorns Ride far away cross the mighty River Tay Over mountains into the unknown Follow your heart, let it guide you through the dark To the Land of Unicorns

Submitted by Lake of Tears — Apr 26, 2025

Remember the days long ago, when we fought side by side for the glory Battling foes of Dundee in a war in the sky Now in this valley we hide, the last hope in this desperate story Onwards into the unknown you must quest forever In an alternate dimension Under spell of evil warlock There's no chance to return to our home Now we're far away, lost in a different reality Slaying dragons Fighting to save the Kingdom of Fife We are Warriors Wielding the Hammer so glorious Fighting with the power of the Laser Dragon Fire I have discovered a scroll, telling tales of equipment for wizard A jetpack of ultimate steel with the power to fly It lies in a cave to the north guarded by unholy creatures But if your quest is to fail we'll all die together With the boost of mighty jetpack Into outer space you can arise And find your destiny once more Now we're far away, lost in a different reality Slaying dragons Fighting to save the Kingdom of Fife We are Warriors Wielding the Hammer so glorious Fighting with the power of the Laser Dragon Fire Ride forth, mighty warrior, beyond the crystalline gates of the Land of Unicorns, into the great plaguelands of Caithness... There you must seek your true destiny. Many perils await you on your journey, but victorious you will return with the power to defeat Zargothrax for all eternity! Remember the heroes Who died in the war of Space Dundee Now lost in another galaxy Far away, lost in a different reality One more final battle to save the Kingdom of Fife Far away, lost in a different reality Slaying dragons Fighting to save the Kingdom of Fife We are Warriors Wielding the Hammer so glorious Fighting with the power of the Ancient holy tragic raging Laser Dragon Fire

Submitted by Corpse Defiler — Apr 26, 2025

Quest for Fife to end pain and strife In search of the enchanted engine! Far and wide, I roam through Speyside Into the deepest dark dungeon There it waits, behind golden gates Sealed in a chest made of diamonds Heart pure as steel I must reveal To hold artifact in my hands A gleam of steam surrounds the machine of might And in my dreams I am flying (whoah oh) Over Cowdenbeath Across an endless horizon (whoah oh) Fly forever free Below me I can see the world so far away And in my dreams I am flying (whoah oh) Flying through the Kingdom of Dundee On a jetpack made of cosmic steel Run for your life! The cave now is rife With laser trolls' sudden appearing Wizard must know where I was to go Though he sent his hordes I'm not fearing Battle is fight with beams of black light Clashing with my mighty hammer The evil troll shoots, lacking power of hoots Never they will prevail There is a goblin in the castle... Take heed! And in my dreams I am flying (whoah oh) Over Cowdenbeath Across an endless horizon (whoah oh) Fly forever free Below me I can see the world so far away And in my dreams I am flying (whoah oh) Flying through the Kingdom of Dundee On a jetpack made of cosmic steel Now it's time to Fly away, starborn defender To realms beyond space I soar Clouds beneath and stars lie before me No return forevermore, so Hail to you, all that I've known here With speed of light I'm to rise Heavenwards, wielding the hammer Riding on the astral fire far beyond the sky And in my dreams I am flying (whoah oh) Over Cowdenbeath Across an endless horizon (whoah oh) Fly forever free Below me I can see the world so far away And in my dreams I am flying (whoah oh) Flying through the Kingdom of Dundee On a jetpack made of cosmic steel

Submitted by Grave666 — Apr 26, 2025

Galaxies swarming behind me Nebulas lying ahead This can only mean That I have arrived into space, oh yeah I feel the astral fire burning It's blazing deep inside of me It burns for the steel, my steel Fly high into space to charge my Laser Powered Goblin Smasher With the force of solar fusion Flowing through my veins My steel will blow you away Fighting mega battles every day Glory! Hammer! Wielding steel that is true Glory! Hammer! Since 1992 Glory! Hammer! For the King of Dundee, my destiny Glory! Hammer! My hammer will not surrender It fights until I'm to die Now time has come To regain its powerful might, once more Celestial light of new dimension Fill my maul with glory For all that is real, yeah Fly high into space to wield my Thunder Striking Wizard Thrasher The dawn of another reality Reinvigorates My steel will blow you away Fighting mega battles every day Glory! Hammer! Wielding steel that is true Glory! Hammer! Since 1992 Glory! Hammer! For the King of Dundee, my destiny Glory! Hammer! Forged by ancient Gods of warfare Wrought of lasers from the sun Now suffused with astral fire It is the time for battle Every knee will bow before me Every goblin king will fall Now the time has come to Regain our fallen pride once more Fly high into space to raise my Heavy Metal Darklord Crasher With the stars of this universe now Lying in my hands My steel will blow you away Mighty prince with a licence to slay Fighting mega battles every day Glory! Hammer! Wielding steel that is true Glory! Hammer! Since 1992 Glory! Hammer! For the King of Dundee, my destiny Glory! Hammer! It is my destiny To rule the Galaxy I am the one The chosen son Glory! Hammer!

Submitted by VladTheImpaler666 — Apr 26, 2025

Fight for the king, For the hammer and the ring Fight for the ancient story Fight for your life, We must fight for Fife For the power and the glory All across the land of Fife, grim chaos reigns supreme Shackled by the mind control of the dark lord of Dundee Yet still there lies the chance of hope now Angus has returned The sigil of the Hootsforce in the sky tonight will burn Fight for the king, For the hammer and the ring Fight for the ancient story Fight for your life, We must fight for Fife For the power and the glory Fight 'til we die, In a battle in the sky Fight all the foes before thee Fight for your life, We must fight for Fife For the power and the glory Hootsforce arise Hootsforce! We are the Hootsforce! Hootsforce! We are the Hootsforce! Forces of resistance, it is time to make a stand No longer will Lord Zargothrax enslave our ancient land Sub Commander Ralathor, engage your nuclear force The battlefield of Cowdenbeath is where we'll set our course In a submarine Beneath the seas Of Achnasheen We remain unseen But now the time Has come to rise Ascend into the skies HOOTS FORCE Fight for the king, For the hammer and the ring Fight for the ancient story Fight for your life, We must fight for Fife For the power and the glory Fight 'til we die, In a battle in the sky Fight all the foes before thee Fight for your life, We must fight for Fife For the power and the glory Fight 'til we die, In a battle in the sky Fight all the foes before thee Fight for your life, We must fight for Fife For the power and the glory Fight for the king, For the hammer and the ring Fight for the ancient story Fight for your life, We must fight for Fife For the power and the glory Fight 'til we die, In a battle in the sky Fight all the foes before thee Fight for your life, We must fight for Fife For the power and the glory Hootsforce arise Hootsforce! We are the Hootsforce! Hootsforce! We are the Hootsforce!

Submitted by Finntroll — Apr 26, 2025

Have you ever seen the galaxy ablaze Have you ever fought a wizard face to face Have you ever watched the Kingdom turn to dust As a unicorn devours with its lust I have seen many worlds And travelled through time But nothing prepares For ultimate fight I am the final defender The last hope for this galaxy Dundee will arise, from evil demise I'm the one with the power to win The Battle for Eternity Have you ever killed a goblin on the moon Have you ever rode an eagle to its doom Have you ever seen the spires of proud Dundee Burning with the fire of destiny The Kingdom of Fife Will never to die Raise up your hammer And scream to the sky I am the final defender The last hope for this galaxy Dundee will arise, from evil demise I'm the one with the power to win The Battle for Eternity I am the final defender I am the final defender The last hope for this galaxy Dundee will arise, from evil demise I'm the one with the power to win The Battle for Eternity

Submitted by VladTheImpaler666 — Apr 26, 2025

In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny Evil will rise And of all the legendary warriors None will survive In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny Evil will rise To defeat the power of the sorcerer Great sacrifice Magnificent vessel appears in the sky The Hootsforce arrives into Cowdenbeath Prepare for the warfare of ultimate destiny Into the battle the heroes make fight Fast as Dundonian lightning they strike The armies of evil will die on the field They'll die by our steel And the battlefield of Cowdenbeath fell silent, as the black gates of the fortress of Crail opened wide. Atop a horde of undead eagles, the grim armies of the Deathknights of Crail rode out to meet the forces of justice. And at the vanguard of this terrible host stood the Grandmaster himself...Dreadlord Proletius! From the black gate evil deathknights attack Proletius is leading the chaos charge Slaughtering peasants with deadly impunity Ralathor fires his final defence Missiles of nuclear justice The deathknights are suddenly vaporized Proletius dies For the King of Space We will fight to end disgrace In our once proud land We will make our stand When the dark lord comes We will shoot our laser guns For the glory of mighty Dundee Mwah ha ha ha! Such a pathetic display of valor! You are naught but insignificant worms before the infinite power of Zargothrax! Now...the solar conjunction is at hand...my ascension to godhood is inevitable! And there is NOTHING you can do to stop me! Worship my omnipotence! From the Heavens Comes a hero Mighty Hootsman Vanitati Latinae Canentis Hootus Dei With a flash of thunder A god falls from the sky With holy armor made from wolf The Hootsman has arrived Side by side with Angus The warriors make fight Hootsman fires a laser blast Shoots goblins out of sight From the Heavens Comes a hero Mighty Hootsman Vanitati Latinae Canentis Hootus Dei In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny Evil will rise And of all the legendary warriors None will survive In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny Evil will rise To defeat the power of the sorcerer The Hootsman has arrived Alllriiiight Zargothrax! Your evil reign of terror ends today! My name is the Hootsman, and I am the one and only true god of this universe! It's time for you to taste the power of HOOTS! With the force of the hammer And the power of Hoots The forces of justice attack Bringing destruction to Zargothrax The wizard defeated Dissolves into dust The Kingdom of Fife has been saved The legendary Angus McFife has triumphed this day And lo, Zargothrax was finally defeated. But in the epic final struggle with the dark sorcerer, the valiant hero Angus McFife realised he had been impaled by the Knife of Evil. As he watched the lifeless corpse of Zargothrax dissolve into liquid dust, Angus knew that soon he himself would be corrupted by the dark power of that cursed blade. And so he resolved that he must make the final sacrifice for the Glory of Dundee...he would end his own life by descending into the raging volcanic fires of Schiehallion! Goodbye My time has come to die This is the end I must say farewell Descend in to hell In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny Evil will rise And of all the legendary warriors None will survive In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny Evil will rise To defeat the power of the sorcerer The Prince of Fife must Die In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny Evil will rise And of all the legendary warriors None will survive In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny Evil will rise To defeat the power of the sorcerer The Prince of Fife must Die To save the galaxy It is your mighty destiny Brave Angus McFife INITIATING INTERDIMENSIONAL SUBSPACE RELAY TARGET YEAR 1022. BEGIN TRANSMISSION ???????? TRANSMISSION COMPLETE

Submitted by Corpse Grinder — Apr 26, 2025