30 Seconds to the Decline of Planet Earth

All your paintings on the wall I observed them recently like never before In many of them a figure stands all alone A deer drinking water or a man fishing in a boat And the florals are abundant and seem to seek inner peace Though you do paint what's around you and the things you see You're my old friend, and you're a great, great painter And in each painting tranquility is captured I noticed others with a pattern of things in fours Ducks floating by, boats sailing along the shore And all of them the number stays the same Are those four ducks your children drifting away? You live all alone in that big old three bedroom house We watch Turner Classics all night long, with all those bedrooms, you sleep on the couch Cars and ambulances whizzing by the living room so loud On the way to the hospital down the highway Do you know that of you I'm so proud? Though in many ways when I was young you were not around Do you know that you're one of my very best friends? We've been through it all haven't we? And yet now on each other we can depend I don't know what it means to be born in the depression era Eight siblings and a father who took his paychecks to the bar and spent them Don't know what it meant to eat certain animal parts Or to lose a sister to stomach cancer or a brother in the war There's just one painting of yours I keep on my wall Alexis Argüello and Aaron Pryor in the heat of their bloody brawl You painted that one for your old friend Billy in 1985 And then you gave it to me when Billy died Life's a fight for all of us isn't it That's my favorite painting you ever did It's the only painting I have hanging on my wall and that's no bullshit It captures love and courage and true friendship I don't know what it means to walk in your shoes Or to be turning 83 in a month or two You called me once and you said you were feeling blue And you asked me do I ever feel like that too I said yeah many shades of it since I was two And you laughed and I laughed and in that moment I knew That I'm most definitely a part of you That in many ways you are me and I am you Got a big three bedroom house full of antiques just like you And I need my alone time just like you do And I'm funny and easy going just like you are too But unfortunately I've got the same quick temper and the same short fuse like you do On this October morning I'm feeling a little blue But not nearly as blue as I'll be when I won't be able to call you I'm so grateful you've been on this planet as long as you have And I'm so proud to be able to call you Dad

Submitted by Immortal — Apr 26, 2025

March 20, 2016 Walkin' back from breakfast with Caroline and we stopped for iced tea A fan stopped me on Decatur and said that she recognised me I asked where she was from, she said "don't worry, not Planet Crazy" I said "then where are you from?", and she said "Denver, Colorado" I asked if she was involved with anyone and she said no I said "this side I've been playing Denver for over two decades And I've never met a person in my life from there who wasn't in a relationship" She said I was right, and that she moved there a few weeks ago And everyone she's met so far is coupled up and she's still getting to know Denver, Colorado I said "well, you're young", she said "not that young, I'm 31" I said "like I said, you're young" I introduced her to Caroline and she said she heard her name In a lot of my songs many times She was polite and kind and not intrusive I asked her what brought her to New Orleans and she said she was on a road trip and it was a good stop down from Texas I was just in Texas too, but I didn't mention it, I just said "oh, that's cool" Some good things come from Texas, like Daniel Johnston and the Butthole Surfers But the best thing to come out of Texas is Jack Johnson, the boxer No, not the surfer musician, I'm talking about the first black heavyweight champion The turn-of-the-century fighter who had more balls than China has plates More balls than me or you or anyone listening to this piece of music currently living in the United States When he went to Australia he didn't have the luxury of complaining that it took eighteen hours by flight He didn't even complain that by boat it took maybe sixty days and nights He fought his rounds, came back with the heavyweight title There's a great book on him by Teresa Runstedler And even an album dedicated to him by Miles Davis I'm just back from Texas where I played a South by Southwest showcase And here's what people said to me: "Hey Mark, did you hear that David Bowie liked your music?" "Hey Mark, how come you only get to play for 40 minutes?" "Hey Mark, I came all the way from Ireland" "Hey Mark, why is the show delayed two hours?" "Hey Mark, when is Universal Themes coming out on vinyl?" "Hey Mark, when is Jesu/Sun Kil Moon coming out on vinyl?" "Hey Mark, is Steve Shelley playing drums with you tonight?" "Hey Mark, how's South by Southwest treating you so far?" "Hey Mark, are you gonna be in Roadies?" "Hey Mark, when are you gonna play South Carolina?" "Hey Mark you were really good in Shopgirl, you friends with Jason Schwartzman? Did you get to meet Steve Martin?" "Hey Mark, when's your next movie?" "Hey Mark, what are you gonna do after the show?" "Hey Mark, are you gonna play Gustavo?" "Hey Mark, are you gonna play anything from Benji?" "Please play Carry Me Ohio, please?" "Here's a copy of my demo." Ask all the questions you want to, and I'll be polite But I'm thinking "fuck you" ninety percent of the time Not a harsh type of "fuck you" Just a light little "I-don't-wanna-talk-about-me-please-tell-me-a-little-about-you fuck you" But a drunk girl approached me said "Mark, I don't know you But you know me, I mean, you think you know me, you think you know me, I mean, you *think* you know me" I was like "hmm, what was that all about, she was original, that's for sure" There's some original shit that happens out there out in the rock 'n roll joint Like I was in bed with these two gothy girls once after a show in Florida When I got up to piss, I came back and they were putting their clothes on really fast, all nervous and freakin' out I was like "where are you going?" And they said "there are four of us in here" And I said "what are you talkin' about, four of us?" And they said "trust us, there are four of us in here, Mark, and we're leaving" I was standing there naked and they ran past me and opened the door and I was saying "where in the fuck are you guys going?" They rushed out and I was standing there, feeling very very alone and all shaken up Then I was lookin' under the bed, and in the shower And even out the window for this fourth person, and I didn't see anyone Those chicks scared the hell out of me 4 A.M., March 21st My stomach's been hurtin' From all the red meat in Texas, so tonight we went strictly vegan And we ate at a Vietnamese restaurant, down on Magazine And during our walk there a friend texted me He said "hey I'm in New Zealand", I said "hey I'm in New Orleans" And we started textin' like a couple of kids About making music together and the cost of touring And blah blah blah blah blah blah And starting boxing gyms But when I texted him a few days later And said that they were playing his music in a restaurant He didn't reply, he probably thought "fuck you" Not a harsh "fuck you", but the kinda "fuck you" I mentioned earlier He's like me, not one to bask in hearing about people hearing his music in a restaurant What do you even say to that? "Wow, man, cool, I love to hear about myself, send me some more" Some of us are in it for the ego stroke, and some of us are in this racket because it's in our blood and we have no choice Caroline and I came back and I took a hot bath and I worked on the credits for the *Sings Favorites* album March 27th, 2016 Seat 14D, United Airlines, Cleveland To SFO, we ate in Akron last night with my mother and her boyfriend and friends It was a very short trip to Ohio But overall peaceful, and I got to surprise a friend With a brand new TV and some money in the form of a cheque And though she was very tired I convinced her to take a walk around the block Which I think did her some good as she'd been so down on her luck But I did funny little dances in her living room to entertain her And played her some music from my *Sings Favorites* album, but she wasn't impressed She said "Mark, these songs sound too much like the originals" I said "That's the whole point, that it's for moms and dads and little kids and the whole family" And she said "Well, did you sing my favorite song "Float On" by Modest Mouse?" And I said I did, but she'd have to wait Her outlook on life seems to be getting bleaker and bleaker and bleaker and bleaker and bleaker I wanted to give her something to look forward to in the future Ben was nice enough to give us a ride to the Cleveland airport And do a quick photoshoot with me at the airport hotel And when we arrived at the Sheridan last night in Cleveland Because I needed a promotional photo for the *Sings Favorites* album Caroline and I fell asleep watching the movie Spotlight About lawsuits brought against the Catholic Church for priests molesting children It was an insightful movie about how a child can be manipulated Into being molested About how it can all start with a dirty joke And escalate into other things that I won't say I can't be a hundred percent sure, but I think I met a few child predators in my day Nothing I can quite bet a hundred percent on, but where, in my opinion, the writing was on the wallpaper I disassociate myself with people like that And I rank child molesters as the lowest form of humanity in the world Along with mass murderers and terrorists I'm not a perfect human, and I'm on no superiority trip But there's a disgusting side to humanity, and that movie And a few things I've seen in my life made me hate the fuckin' world Just for a little while Yeah, that's right, while I watched that movie I hated the fuckin' world Yeah, life can be tough, my friend isn't well She's downward mentally, spiritually and physically And I'm trying to do what I can to help My father made a comment, "accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative" I'm good at that, but there are negative forces out there that are hard to prevent They can sneak up on us out of nowhere It's hard to ignore that shit, how can we not care? I gotta ask you something, do you attract obsessives? I'm just curious, like when you have interactions with people Do they make mental notes, or even written notes of everything you say, I mean every little thing that you say? Maybe you know what I'm talking about here, and if you don't I mean this sincerely, enjoy that part of your life Do people discuss you as a human? Or do people discuss you as a product? I'm a human to most people who know me But I fall into the product category for the most part, a target I was born to be a product, yeah I'm used to that You wanna hate on me, then hate on me You got shit to throw at me, then throw it You wanna punch me in the face, I'm easy to find Throw the fuckin' punch, see if you can catch me Either way, I love you, I really do, I got a lotta love in my heart I got love for the haters, I even got love for the alligators Mmm, blackened alligator, oh man, it's the fuckin' best! This life's a racket where I trained to do what I've dreamed of since I was five For anything else, who knows, but maybe nine-to-five Ain't so bad, you get to come home every day to your wife And say "hey, did you see the news, Johnny Depp's having a hell of a time" 3-29-2016, 12:31 A.M I'm tired, I woke up at Caroline's and had trouble gettin' out of bed Thoughts of Ohio overwhelmed my head Thoughts of the walk to Caroline's place in Telegraph Hill To my place, at the top of Nob Hill Saddened me Paul Kantner won't be at Trieste any more And I dodged Caroline's old apartment which reminds me of when we first got together after I knocked on her door When I got up, made her bed, and headed up the hill Stopped at Molinari's at 11 A.M., and got the Joe's Special Fuckin' wheat bread, I fuckin' hate wheat bread Trust me, you'll be eatin' boring stuff too when you're pushing fifty unless you wanna be dead I came home to my apartment that hasn't been cleaned since last year I picked up some things, here and there A keyboardist's coming over tomorrow to rehearse for a summer tour I went to deposit cheques and the one from New York Looked like it'd been pulled out of a sewer The bank teller, she still accepted it A friend once told me that a cheque that I sent him disintegrated Because it was in his wallet too long, and I thought it was bullshit, and it made me laugh And fuck, here I was with a twelve thousand dollar cheque that was torn in half I couldn't stop thinkin' of my sick friend I was so distracted that I ended up leaving my wallet behind at the bank The security guard was chasing me and yellin' my name Was I being arrested for something? What could it be? My wallet was handed to me by a security guard Who didn't resemble any cast members of the Beverly Hillbillies, I'll just say that She had a really tough look, but she was polite And had a really nice smile once I got closer I ate ramen alone and on the way out the kid working there Asked me why I bought so many bottles of water I didn't want to explain to a millenial that I had a 12 hour rehearsal the next day as it would provoke more disingenuous questions The place had just opened and was clearly being told To be extra friendly to customers as some kind of shtick To bring in more business I'm gonna get my water elsewhere next time I came home and thoughts of Ohio were still bothering me So I created soap operas on my flip-phone with a few friends to distract myself Caroline and I met for Chinese but we took the night off from each other as I was so drained We slept at our own places The TV's on but it's turned down My apartment's a fuckin' mess I unfolded a piece of paper that's sat there forever And a pile of hotel and restaurant receipts from Europe and Asia It was a note from someone, something someone handed me on tour You wanna know what it said? Fuck you

Submitted by Dahmers Fridge — Apr 26, 2025

I was in Seattle and you were there Said you were in a methadone clinic You came to my show and you talked the whole way through it About how you couldn't sleep and fuck You kept me up, you asked me "please please Mark Could you give me thirty bucks?" So you could go out and score And I gave it to you so I could get some sleep And you ran off into the streets so fast like a little crack whore Came back I told you I was playin' in a couple of days in Orlando You bounced up and down in the bed like a little yo-yo "Please Mark, I've always wanted to go to Disney World" I said sure, next morning we went to the airport You saw me play my show down at the Sapphire And we met a fan there who of all things played a Disney character He was nice enough to arrange free passes and your smile was so bright Some people we met at the venue took us To Disney World We went to Splash Mountain I looked at the photo of us on the ride We both looked so happy and carefree and oh Later that day we were walkin' and you dropped your purse And you squatted down in your leopard-skin skirt To pick up all your hypodermic needles, I helped you with it Everyone looked at us like we were both pure evil And on the way back we heard 10cc's "I'm Not in Love" And you got real close to me and at the same time we both said "I love this song" And you fell asleep on my shoulder as we rode along in the backseat Content and peaceful as a sleeping fawn And the girl who was drivin' was looking at me in the rearview Like "What's up, why the hell did you bring that crazy girl with you?" I looked at her like "Mind your own goddamn business, fuck you, junkies are allowed to enjoy Disney World too" Oh Disney World A place for moms and dads and little boys and little girls A place for everyone to have fun as far as I'm concerned Some day I gotta go back to Orlando And make some time for Disney World Oh I never dreamed that you'd ever ever ever ever even turn thirty You dated an illegal and you had his baby He started robbin' stores and he went to prison down in Mexico City And all these years later you're livin' not far away And I'm almost forty now and on the same day you're gonna be forty too You know something? I still have a lot of love for you I still have a lot of love for you I still have a lot of love for you I still have a lot of love for you I still have so much love for you I still have a lot of love for you I have so much love for you I have so much love for you I still have so much love for you You still have a few drinks and you still smoke a little weed But you're off the junk and you work for an outreach program Helping kids on the street And though we only see each other maybe once or twice a year When I see you your smile always manages to fill my heart with cheer When I see you I never dare bring up that young girl Who dropped her needles all over the pavement at Disney World

Submitted by Morgoth — Apr 26, 2025

Aw there we were stuck at the airport in Newcastle What a lousy night before and now with our flight to Holland cancelled Pretty girl with long blonde hair and light blue eyes Sat behind us staring off into her cyber life I asked are you on the next flight to Amsterdam too She said no I'm off to Greece I said ah what is it that you do She said I'm a dancer doin' a production based on Michael Jackson The guys asked what her and I talked about I said about a Michael Jackson dance production They said did you hear the latest on him They found child porno at his place And animal torture videos And blah blah blah blah blah blah blah And woah woah woah woah woah And blah blah blah blah blah blah blah And woah woah woah woah woah woah woah Is the latest on him true Well I don't fuckin' know But if I had a son would I let him get into a car with Michael Jackson Fuck no I'm sorry for the bad things that his father did to him But it doesn't add up to building a Willie Wonka trap for kids And changin' the color of your God given skin He made creepy videos that the popular kids liked back in the eighties And once over a balcony he dangled a baby And did the moon walk And talked like a 9 year old girl I don't give a flying fuck what he meant to the mainstream world Roman Polanski went down in flames and was incarcerated But this young little kid addict will forever be celebrated A hundred plastic surgeries and paid two hundred million to shut people up Took someone's child like it was nobody's business and dragged him around on a tour bus He's bad And he's dead and I'm glad He's bad And he's dead and I'm glad He's bad And he's dead and I'm glad He's dead and to me it ain't that fuckin' sad So yeah I covered a beautiful song by The Jackson 5 But I believe our world is better off with Michael dead than alive No grown man should have a house full of children's toys for the purposes of luring and impressing young little girls and boys Would you let Michael Jackson spend the day alone with your kid If the answer is yes you're a fuckin' sycophant If the answer is yes you are beyond fanatic And you have less love for your own children than you do for Michael Jackson Michael was a pop king and therefore made his own rules Created a new face and paid off his woes and blues Love his music Dress up like him for Halloween all you want to But that guy was as far as I'm concerned one seriously fucked up dude If his music touched you and deeply moved you Well that's what pop music is supposed to do But if you think he was a good guy and for little kids that he didn't drool Well I personally think that you're a Pollyanna fool You might say don't you know that Michael was acquitted Well so was another rich celeb on his criminal trial named OJ Simpson He's bad And he's dead and I'm glad He's bad And he's dead and I'm glad He's bad And he's dead and I'm glad He's dead and to me it ain't that fuckin' sad He didn't stop 'til he got enough

Submitted by Corpse Grinder — Apr 26, 2025

Bombs bombs bombs Goin' off off off off off Bombs bombs bombs bombs bombs Goin' off off off off off Bombs bombs bombs bombs bombs Goin' off off off off off off This morning in New Jersey And yesterday in Chelsea, New York Now I'm on the train in King's Cross in London Goin' to Brighton Was up late last night watchin' TV And talkin' to Justin about the future and our families And our music and our tour And we cancelled France Cause the ticket sales smelled like cow manure I'm tired baby I'm tired tired tired tired tired I'm tired baby I'm tired tired tired tired tired I'm tired baby I'm tired tired tired tired But I just arrived in beautiful Brighton And I hear the seagulls outside And I feel inspired ADVERTISING Gonna stand up tonight And own my space in this music venue I believe it's called something like Concord 2 And for whoever will be there tonight They're surely gonna witness My lack of tending to my physical fitness The Lord says our body is the temple of the soul Joel Osteen says our body is the temple of the soul Jerry Falwell said our body was the temple of the soul Easier said than done, baby When you're on tour at 49 years old But I've not smoked a cigarette in all of 2016 And truly I'm keeping up With my 40 pushups a day exercise routine And I'm happy to be here singing for you tonight In lovely Brighton With Nick on bass, Scott on drums And of course my old friend Justin Thank you everyone very much for comin' out tonight It means a lot to us We're gonna make sure the show is super tight OK now, here we go with our first song It's for mothers and fathers Who have lost their daughters and their sons Now I'm on my way to Amsterdam On EasyJet My shirt and jacket and underwear and socks Are full of sweat Ticket sales are slow But hey, that's just the way it goes I've oversaturated my European market Playin' too many shows Plus there's Brexit And the Brazilian-hosted Summer Olympics And your money is thin Cause let's face it These music festivals are a fuckin' racket But I woke up today Got my suitcase and I packed it I hop on airplanes every day Like a little fuckin' bunny rabbit Oh Amsterdam Oh Am- Am- Amsterdam Oh Amsterdam Oh Am- Am- Amsterdam Here I am here I am here I am Here I am here I am here I am Here I am here I am here I am Here I am here I am here I am And I'm happy to be here, I truly am I don't smoke marijuana or cigarettes or hash That's cause generally for the most part I'm naturally relaxed Pretty soon we're gonna play the song I mentioned earlier I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for being here I'm glad I'm alive and healthy Here tonight in Holland Not six feet under in a tourist graveyard Like Mr Mojo Risin Or Kurt Cobain or Prince or Michael Jackson or Janis Joplin I'm feelin' pretty good tonight Thank you for askin' This song is almost over And soon you're all gonna be clapping Then I'm gonna sing some songs Do some spoken word And then a little bit of rappin' Then after the show I'll be back in my hotel room Wackin' my bone All all all all all all all alone Cause I'm almost 50 And that's just the way the wind blows Yeah I'm almost 50 And it's just the way the wind blows Anyhow, that's that I hope you enjoy the show Thanks again for coming I hope you enjoy the show I'm leavin' Holland today And I gotta say I'm not gonna miss your fuckin' bikes bikes bikes Bikes bikes bikes Bikes bikes bikes Bikes bikes bikes Bikes bikes bikes Yikes yikes yikes Yikes yikes yikes Here comes another fuckin' bike Watch out! Fuck! Get out the way! Here comes yet another fuckin' bike Holy motherfucker of Christ Holland loves their fuckin' bikes They sneak up out of nowhere so fast And they make me paranoid and totally uptight I'm gonna miss you Holland But my God I'm not gonna miss These goddamn bikes Yikes yikes yikes Yikes yikes yikes Yikes yikes yikes Your bikes cause me serious fuckin' fright Now I'm on my way from Amsterdam by train To Poland to play the Asymmetry Festival Yeah, it's somewhere in Poland It's in a city that for the life of me I can't pronounce Please forgive me It's called "Rock-law" Or maybe something else (WROCLAW!) Last name is Kozelek And I'm of Polish ancestry Last name is Kozelek And I'm of Polish ancestry Last name is Kozelek And I'm of Polish ancestry But honestly I don't know much about my family tree But I'm proud of where I'm from And who I've turned out to be I love my father and my mother Very very very very dearly Down there in the history line There must be some kind of proof of my bloodline For I am strong And I love Polish food I love white borscht I love love love love love white borscht And Polish sausage And I also love love love red borscht And I love Perogies And potato pancakes with sour cream And kielbasa and sauerkraut On Easter Sunday morning Andrew Golota is from Po- Po- Po- Poland Andrew Golota was known for low low low low blowin' Andrew Golota is from (WAR- WAR- WARSAW!), Poland Was disqualified in his fights with Riddick Bowe For low low blowin' But lots of people in this world should be disqualified Like both people running for office in the USA They tell lots of fuckin' lies Lots of people in high places should be disqualified For low blowin' entire countries And fuckin' up millions of people's lives Anyhow, I love you Po- Po- Po- Po- Poland But tomorrow morning unfortunately I gotta be goin' Off to Copenhagen for a show Then I'm goin' home But I'll be back next year If the OFF Festival invites me I hope so Good night good night I love you love you love you Poland Good night good night I'm proud to play for you tonight in Poland Good night, I love you I love you I love you Po- Po- Poland You are my roots and yeah I'm proud of that Now I gotta get goin' Back from Denmark And now I'm in O- O- Omaha Had lunch at Blatt And the waiter there called me boss He asked "How's your salad, boss?" I said "It's good" He said "That's great, boss" Then I said "Can I get the check?" And he said "Sure thing, boss" Then I left and I looked at the street And I walked across it Thinkin' that salad wasn't bad I liked the way they tossed it Then I walked in the venue And poured some water into a plastic cup From the faucet Now I'm singing in front of you all And it's fall And it's nice to be here for the first time ever in Omaha So far to me it's more interesting to me Than, say, Fairbanks, Alaska Over here in Omaha, Nebraska Yesterday I arrived in Ar- Ar- Arizona Helicopters were flyin' over my hotel room Until two in the morning I went walking earlier in the night To find a Safeway Ended up walkin' down a street That was so dark and long I got so afraid Pretty soon cop cars were drivin' by And checkin' me out My heart was pounding Man, I gotta tell you, seriously, I was freaking out Helicopters appeared above Shining their beaming lights down at me I thought "holy motherfucker God These motherfuckers are gonna kill me" Then I called Ben I said "Whatever you do, seriously Don't walk down this street" He said "Cool man I'll meet you in 20 minutes in the lobby" Though I wanted to run I walked briskly instead Didn't want a hundred 22 calibers Pointed at my head Drove to the Safeway And it was surrounded by cops I asked a cop "Hey, what's going on in this parking lot" He said "A guy is loose Don't worry about it We're gonna find him eventually" I said "How do you know that guy isn't me?" He said "Listen smart ass You don't fit his description" I said "Hey, I could be strapped for all you know" He said "Hey, you want me to start friskin'?" I said "Not really" And he said "Listen man, I'm serious You better be on your way" I said "But your cop car looks so cozy And I'm enjoying this conversation" Anyhow, it's nice to be here here here in Phoenix Even though the cops are complete fucking dicks Anyhow it's nice to be here here here here here here in Phoenix I hope you like this next song You might recognize it It's my biggest hit (Shut the fuck up and listen to him!) (Shut the fuck up and listen to him!) (Shut the fuck up and listen to him!) (Shut the fuck up and listen to him!) So now here we are in Tu- Tu- Tu- Tucson Got to the venue and the pow- pow- pow- power wasn't on The guys at the venue said that the battery died In the new generator I said "You better get it fixed fast You tattooed motherfuckers Or see you later" But within the hour They got the power turned on And it was all smiles And I'm happy to be here in Tucson We ate next door at Miss Saigon The spring roll tasted good Once I put the sriracha on It's good it's good it's good to be here in Tucson Let's keep our fingers crossed that the power stays on Now I'm off to China And trust me, this song could go on and on and on But maybe it's wearing out its welcome I don't know I'm enjoying singing this song This song could go on and on and on and on and on and on Maybe it's almost over I don't know But I hope you're enjoying this song I know that some of you are thinking This song is way too long That's OK with me You can listen to Green Day instead Or play a game of ping pong (Hey Mark, sorry to stop you but I think it is getting a little too long) Oh alright, let's take a break and maybe get some dinner over at Tu Lan

Submitted by Dahmers Fridge — Apr 26, 2025

My name is Johnny St. Lethal I'm twenty-eight years old and I wrote me a novel It's called 'Twenty Something' and the cover is grey text on black Like 'Belly of the Beast' by Jack Abbott And if you look at me and my book you'll see that I wear my influences on my sleeve The Beatnik poets, man, Jack Kerouac, Allen Ginsberg and Neal Cassady I sport dark shades and a worn black leather jacket I'm projecting an attitude that says, 'Hey, I don't give a shit.' And I get more pussy Vince Neil got in 1983 And I gave my book to Mark Kozelek in the front row in Philadelphia and he high-fived me He said, 'Hey, what's your name?' I said 'Johnny St. Lethal' He said, 'Wow, that's a cool name, man. You're my biggest hero But your life is just beginning and you're just finding your feet in this world. And your schtick's limited to impressing 19-year old girls from Williamsburg. The sweet spot for men lasts from about 27-to-33, and trust me, the magic dust starts fading when you're approaching 40. Right now the girls tell you they got a boyfriend at the end of the night, right? Well, in your late-40s they tell you that information right up front, whether it's true or not Throughout my life I've met lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of people, but I've never met anybody quite like Johnny St. Lethal. He's on top of the world with his Adam's apple and his Billy Joe Armstrong look and his black paperback novel. But Johnny kept talking during my show in Union Hall so I gave him fifty Norwegian kroners to trade places with a pleasant young girl down the row who was sweet and kind and mild-mannered Right now you're on top of the world, Johnny St. Lethal, but let's take a look at Johnny when he's 49 years old, people. I wish you the best, I truly do, Johnny St. Lethal. I wish the best for each and every one of us people. You could end up the next Oscar Wilde or Ernest Hemingway, or you could end up like Lux's boyfriend in Virgin Suicides, Trip Fontaine. You never really know what's around the corner, do you Cool Hand Luke? But truly, I wish the very best for you A girl asked me once in Ireland, 'What is your dream?' I said, 'I'm livin' it.' I asked her, 'What's yours? Since you asked me.' She said, 'I don't know.' But that's a good answer, and we drifted off to sleep on a magical night in Galway [?] and I remember her lips tasting so sweet. 'When I was about your age, Johnny, I believed in many things, but mostly I believed in me. Then the blows started coming, that's when you find out how tough you really be. I've seen artists grow stronger and I've seen artists wilt in the heat. I've seen artists strive like big Magnolia trees in sun die off like weeds. There are curveballs in life, Johnny. Some are hell, some are mindblowingly beautiful. I've got a message for you from all the people down here in Austin, Texas, Johnny St. Lethal We wish you the best, Johnny St. Lethal We wish you the best with your paperback novel We send you our love, Johnny St. Lethal We wish you the best, Johnny St. Lethal I got your book in my computer bag next to Bruce Springsteen's 'Born to Run.' And when I get home it's gonna sit on my shelf with the rest of 'em. 'Cause you autographed your book and kindly handed it to me personally. Thank you for the book. And thank you for this song, Johnny St. Lethal

Submitted by NecroLord — Apr 26, 2025

Hello Chicago, Illinois John Hughes was a fan of mine One time we got on the phone We talked for six hours Then at the end he said "Mark, why are you callin'?" I said "John, I'm so sorry to ask you this But could I please borrow 15 thousand dollars?" He said "Sure Mark But hey, you could have mentioned it earlier in the conversation" I said "Yeah, but I like your behind-the-scenes stories of National Lampoon's Vacation And Ferris Bueller's Day Off and 101 Dalmatians" Then we got off the phone And I'll forever be grateful for John's contribution to my life For he released Red House Painters - Songs for a Blue Guitar He said "Mark, I believe in you You are a bright shining star" I said "But hey, you're the guy who made the movie Home Alone" He said "But you're young and on the rise And I'm just an old man living in Chicago" Then I heard the news that John died Just as I was walking on stage in New York And in honor of his passing I played his favorite cover of mine, All Mixed Up John Hughes made wonderful movies That the whole family could enjoy So for John Hughes Everybody in Chicago make some fuckin' noise John was full of love for his family And he loved music deeply He used The Smiths - Back To The Old House in Pretty in Pink That movie with Ducky John believed in film making And film making certainly believed in him And I lost a piece of my heart When John Hughes' life came to an end Anyhow, now I'm gonna get on to something else It's time to join together now Forget about planet hatred-hell Take a moment to notice something nice about someone And pay them a compliment Don't be an aloof fucking deadbeat With your feet stuck in the cement Put your phones away Smell the roses and quit all this hating It's boomeranging back into our faces And now the earth is quaking Get in bed with your lover tonight And shut off that laptop And start making love, not war For this could be the last day you're living And if you don't believe me, then ask Mr Leonard Cohen Or the young boy who fell off the cliff last summer Or Exodus who died on a treadmill The daughter of Mike Tyson Or Jose Fernandez who died in a boat crash If I'm not mistaken And if you're thinking "I don't know what this guy is talking about" Someday you'll get a call that's your worst nightmare And then you'll figure it out So let's be kind and quit spewing all this negative hating Quit pouting like babies on Twitter For it just keeps ricocheting hatred around the planet And it's destroying our nation and causing alienation Fuck the media All they are doing to you is provoking Taking your money and getting ratings and your attention And they leave you confused and heartbroken You want to do some good Go out into the street And find a person who is suffering in the gutter Give them a hug and say "I love you" For they are your brother Get out into the street And find a person who is lonely And dying of hunger Tell them you love them For they are your sister or your brother And if you got a brother or a sister Who is suffering from sickness or depression Hold them in your arms And tell them just how much you love them Cause one day you might call them And they might not pick up the phone Somebody else will answer and say "I'm sorry They've left the world You better come home" Now I'm gonna steal a line from the band The Young Bloods "Come on people now Smile on your brother Everybody get together Try to love one another right now" Now I'm gonna steal a line from The Hollies If I may steal another "He ain't heavy He's my brother" It's nice to be here in Chicago, Illinois Rest in peace, Leonard Cohen You're an angel above us With a mockingbird soul So are you, John Hughes You both brought us so much happiness, inspiration and joy I'm gonna read a letter from a fan That I got the day after that show in Chicago "November 16, 2016 Robert, I just wanted to write a brief letter to say how grateful I was to see Jesu/Sun Kil Moon in Chicago on Sunday I had driven about 5 hours from St. Louis to be there The death of Leonard Cohen a few days before had affected me so much that there was a question of whether or not I would be emotionally up for the trip But I had never seen Mark before, someone who I admired just as much And it was that thought that got me into the car and up to the venue I was one of about 3 or 4 die-hards who were standing against the stage when Jesu set up and began to play Mark came on stage and asked everyone to draw in closer which immediately made the room feel like a safe and intimate place The newest verses of Bombs that led into their cover of Famous Blue Raincoat touched me very deeply In retrospect, it wasn't something that I was prepared for But it hit me very hard, and from then until the end of the night I was either in tears or not far from them Someone else in the audience mentioned that the show was immediate and direct, and that's exactly what it was In the last few years there's been increasingly less and less distance between Mark's experiences and the words that he writes Leaving the emotions uncovered and there for us all to tap into He and Justin were in perfect sync I'm sure it's hell to put yourself out there like that But it meant a lot to me and the people who were all there that night and after 3 hours of it all I was a total snotty mess But Mark reached out to clasp my hand on the last chord of the last song, Beautiful You, and thanked us for being there I'll never forget that I don't need a response but if you could pass this on to Mark and Justin I'd be grateful God bless Greg"

Submitted by The Void — Apr 26, 2025

Just back from South Dakota and my skin is covered in bed bug But it was nice playin' Christmas songs out there then flying back home to my love And it's nice not having to go to airports anymore this December I'm now living my summer long dream this dream of winter Wintertime is melancholic and sometimes gets me over thinking Especially this one as I'm a month away from being 50 And oh how the time has flown And oh how the trees have grown And how nice it is to be back home I hope these days pass slowly Oh how this new bedding you got me feels so cozy Oh how the cold makes your cheeks so rosy Oh how my belly's gotten doughy I got nothing on my schedule so far next year And that's a first in a long time as far as i can remember Just looked out the window and in the yard is a big old deer Ain't nothing like the scenery and the smell of the nature out here And the chimney's pumpin' smoke up into the chilly sky And the downtown Christmas decorations make me want to cry When you're young it takes forever for Christmas to come around And when you're older it comes around the corner faster than a greyhound I hope December passes slowly In this moment I feel so lucky To be with you putting lights on the Christmas tree And the old hardwood floors they shine like honey And Segovia playing Bach is magic in the living room And my dad is 83 years old and I'm gonna see him soon In this moment I feel so lucky To have a girl in my life who is so nice to me and so pretty If I die tomorrow upon me take no pity I got a beautiful house in the country and a nice apartment in the city I've been everywhere from China to Iowa City Oh in this moment I couldn't feel more at ease And your cat she's so snuggly and fluffy But when you went to work this morning her and i slept in until 3:30 And she woke me up when she jumped out of bed and her feet hit the floor I'm more grateful for this Christmas that's approaching than any Christmas ever before

Submitted by NecroLord — Apr 26, 2025