Return of the Fabulous Metal Bozo Clowns

With lovely patches on And stupid girly bonnets And Donny Osmond, Do you really know What I'd like to twat Are those seventies glam bands With haircuts so crap, You think you had attitude Did you think you were tough You've got to be joking With haircut like muff, Now you've passed on All your worldly skills To the next generation Who think its a brill, To block up my lungs Block up the gents With lipstick and hairspray Where are the men? Did you leave behind As your symbol token A load of crap songs And a lampost that was broken? You're always played at weddings At new year, barmitzers and charity Just fuck off back into the seventies And stop plaguing me, Especially when I turn on the TV And there you are again On a naff clothing advert Well its improved, it's full of women, It's the return of the metal bozos clowns Here it comes The big clown rap About those seventies people I want to slap, Vander Graf Atomic Rooster Are first in line For a sawn off shooter Next in line Noddy Holder and Slade How much cash Do they want to make, Merry Christmas Everybody That record is truly sorry, They just keeping re-releasing Every year it sounds even more appalling, The seventies go down In history As a shameful embarassing Memory, Joker bands For the weak and feeble The only saving grace Was Pan's People, At least a few Were truely great They escaped The glamorous glittered fate, Johnny Lydon Stiv Bator MC5 Or the Dictators But they keep re-releasing Every year it sounds even more appalling, It's the return of the metal bozo clowns

Submitted by Dahmers Fridge — Apr 26, 2025

On beer, sweeties and porn I part with cash with china milkwomen Rocking until the dawn, I wake with an overhang Sore knob and a beer back Did I really spend all that dosh In a frenzied moolah attack, Ooh, oooh oooh ooh Jaggered Wedge At the end what have I left Fuck all, just a Jaggered wedge

Submitted by Pestilence — Apr 26, 2025

What you doin' there Sat in the fridge With your balding greasy hair Lookin' like a doughnut Big fat and blown up, A said What ya trying to do Give me a scare Sitting there With raspberries in your hair, It's not fair Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah Are you a toad in the hole Larding round and getting old Or have you been drinking bongwater OR WHAT!

Submitted by The Void — Apr 26, 2025

So where's my swag I've paid good money For a regal shag, You're breasts are pert And you smell so sweet So why do you wash My rancid feet, I fell for you my love And your girl like charm It's a shame that my feet Smell like a pig farm, They came between us Tore us apart So cleanse my tootsies Make them unarmed, Feetcleaner They came between us Chiropadise Is to compromise So my love so sweet Can get past my feet, The course of true love It never ran straight 'Cos I've been taken away From my primal mate, She was a tart I was in a band But at least I rooted Her sweaty gland, They came between us tore us apart So cleanse my tootsies make them unarmed, Got to get up I've gotta get up What? What? What? Got to get up Woof woof woof Feetcleaner They came between us

Submitted by MetalElf — Apr 26, 2025

Had some beers it affectd my sight Stopped by the I was for jumping a light Took down the station and read my rights, he said, drunk in charge of an ugly face you're banned for life its a fucking disgrace

Submitted by Iron_Wraith — Apr 26, 2025

She was just seven-teen If you know what I mean When she appeared unclean In a gentlemen's magazine, I was at the barbers shop Getting my hair cut Picked up amateur photographer Just for a quick look, There on the pages Spread in front of me To my untimely horror Was virginal sweet Shirley, Lying there in a bath of milk She's showing skin as smooth as silk With her legs spread a kimbo My daughters a naked bimbo My daughters a naked bimbo, Out of the hairdresser (hairdresser) Pent full of rage (rage, rage) My daughters image (image) I have to save (save, save), Down to the newsagent (agents) Full speed and stealth (stealth, stealth) I'll buy every copy (copy) Wipe out the top shelf (shelf, shelf) Paranoid Polaroid did your daddy read up on his Freud! Then I'll confront Shirley And ask her what's the game Why her legs were round her neck Has she got any shame? "I didn't know what I was doing Honestly I did'nt Daddy He just came in through the front door Camera, smiles all happy", Said "Little girl It's flesh for cash So grab your Matey And get in the bath", Nobody will ever find out Why don't you use a false name Like Sue from Durbon Or Rod, Freddy or Jane, But you know that I found out Because in that mag I peeked So bugger off up to bed And no supper for a weak

Submitted by Morgoth — Apr 26, 2025

Are we in it for the kids, No way, Frash for cash, Frash for cash

Submitted by Pestilence — Apr 26, 2025

There's a message floatin' in the air. Comes from, Crazy horses ridin' everywhere. It's a warning, it's in every tongue. Gotta stop them crazy horses on the run. (CHORUS) What a show, there they go smokin' up the sky, yeah. Crazy horses all got riders, and they're you and I. Crazy horses (repeat 3 times) Never stop and they never die. They just keep on puffin' how they multiply. Crazy horses, will they never halt? If they keep on movin' then it's all our fault. Repeat chorus So take a good look around, see what they've done, see what they've done -- Crazy horses. (repeat several times)

Submitted by johnmansley — Nov 09, 2025

I was a boring git Who had a social life As rare as a rocking horse shit, Bob fucking Catley Was bardly the word Nuno Bettencourt A right flamin' nerd, But now I've returned A true nineties bloke Because I've risen my head An even bigger joke, My names Mr. Formica My middle name is probably Keith I've got my flash & Mr.Sheen I am now armed to the teeth, To cook the food And watch the kids Wash out the undies Remove the skids, Polish the windows And then watch this morning Go flower arranging I'm right fuckin' boring, The moral of this story Is don't listen to bands who are shit Like Magnum for example 'Cos you'll become a real wet git, At the start of this song My life had improved But I've just realised That it hasn't

Submitted by Celtic Frost — Apr 26, 2025

gone, Comics are for pre-pubescent moronic slime Who've got nothing better to do with their time, The one I most hate is Superman, An underpant wearing flying phallic gland, On Krypton he collects his strength and girth, I wish he'd been aborted at birth, I hate Dan Dare and the Mekon with no hair, They live in space, I wish they'd stay up there, stupid comics full of space ships, I'd rather read a magazine full of gardening tips, Batman and Robin help people out a tight spot, Batman and Robin so fucking what, They live in Gotham, what do they want, a clap? If they lived in Bradford they'd still be crap, Swamp thing I really do despair, Looks like a marshmallow with seaweed of hair, What kind of hero is that supposed to be, A walking giant sea anemone, Come and join me in the human race, Where there's no super heroes in cartoon space

Submitted by The Void — Apr 26, 2025

Urban Surfer 125 You're not staying alive Staying alive, staying alive, ah ha ha ha staying alive You will not survive, Fat Controller wearing bowler Stroke the boiler Jenny Agutter Fat Controller wearing bowler Stroke the boiler Jenny Agutter, Jump on the roof Dislodge a tooth You stupid youth Climb on the ran Get a sun tan On the guards van Oh no you are dead You got a bridge right in the head, Urban surfer 125 You're not staying alive You will not survive, Scum like you Deserve to die Squirting blood, Ten foot high

Submitted by BloodShrine — Apr 26, 2025

blinkered world, Narrow Mindered Blinkered Fool, It's no surprise to me That you can barely see More than three or four feet Right in front of thee, Bigoted Pre- Concieved Ideas, Yes you are a complete asswipe A totally wild and dangerous man Mixing and testing with ideology Dealing your drugs and singing in bands, Down on your luck, scraping for cash Feeding the masses with polluted stash Injecting the serum from you to the half-wit The toxic milkshake will bulge out your wallet, Ac- Cept Your Crime, OK me old asswipe The system has decided It won't here of this They'll put a stop to it, It's not good enough for you To serve out national justice You were right and they were wrong So you'll become an anarchist, Listen, sing in your band A better life for a growing man Don't preach your blinkered tribe 'Cos you are a grade A asswipe, You came We saw We laughed In your face

Submitted by MetalElf — Apr 26, 2025

Oooh yeah C'mon Wolf child, Cavernous An opening expanse Circle it With a macabre dance Ridicule That troubled furrow Wipe away Those tears of sorrow Sorrow So dark So scared Sorrow, Oooh yeah C'mon Wolf child

Submitted by SerpentEve — Apr 26, 2025

burgers In a nice fresh bun Set the cat on him See the fucker run, Knick Knack paddy wack Give the fish a bone You fat bastard Your stomach's really grown, Here comes H He's captain golden golden fry Gonna pop you with his fork And turn you into pie, You stupid fool You should have know A goldfish shouldn't Weigh ten stone

Submitted by Corpse Grinder — Apr 26, 2025

cream A three pin plug with a negative earth Watch me swell to an amazing girth Watch me swell to an amazing girth, Red one Green one It doesn't really matter Makes my orgasms Come with a real splatter Come with a real splatter, Electrical highways, bulging with power The positive charges would make some cower Talking wiring makes some folk tire But I'd give all for a bit of wire But I'd give all for a bit of wire, -death grunt- A soldered joint I say hey that's nice A connecting plug & I'll look twice Blue Tack frenzy is what we need To make one really chuck my seed To make one really chuck my seed, The thing about my little fetish Is that when I feel I'm getting a little peckish For a flex of multicore fantasy spanking I look in the TV for some wire wanking I look in the TV for some wire wanking

Submitted by VladTheImpaler666 — Apr 26, 2025

No lyrics have been submitted for this track yet.

Scene, What scene?

Submitted by Iron_Wraith — Apr 26, 2025

Two slices of bread Loads of butter A big fat egg What's that make? Egg sandwich

Submitted by Grave666 — Apr 26, 2025

order bell, Before I roam I feel my mouth Begin to foam, It's not too late To get some tins Seal my fate, I need to quench my raging thirst There's plenty more cash in my purse I say bartender, re-open the bar straight away I believe a lock-in is order of the day, ANY ONE FOR LOCK-INS I don't see why Landlords got the buff Lock-ins are great I was perfectly chuffed I was perfectly chuffed, Why is be wielding that hat The one of the baseball variety This puts pay to my play The twist of my sobriety, Well that did nothing for my nerves What a terrible fright I'll go and find a liquor store In the dead of the night Anyone for tinnies There's ducks in my mouth An alcoholic drought My nerves are in tatters Inebriation is all that matters, What is the problem with the world All I want is to have a drink Pour that brew right down my neck I don't ask much I don't think, So off we go, back to my place Open my fridge and peer within On comes the light, look round the lettuce My fridge is full, it's tinnies heaven, Grab a four pack and a few tins more On with the telly, slump on the floor The Hitman and Her I thankfully missed Who gives a sod, I'm totally pissed

Submitted by Finntroll — Apr 26, 2025

Pyramids Tornado planes War ensemble Jesus saves, Sensationalism Video stars just for a cheap buck you pushed too far

Submitted by VladTheImpaler666 — Apr 26, 2025

to make things flow A one man anal fountain show, A bowel of water to be let out Let me pull on your sphinctal spout, I'm the Illinois enema bandit I will make your rectum sick I'm the Illinois enema bandit I will make your rectum sick,I'm a sick and perverted man I get my kicks with a watering can A length of hose to make things flow A one man anal fountain show, Administer young women In a novel way It's quite amusing to see What the papers say The next morning On the girlie's tunnel I leave my calling card On her anal funnel

Submitted by SerpentEve — Apr 26, 2025

Ay ay ay, Fookin' moo vit

Submitted by Grave666 — Apr 26, 2025