Old Lady Drivers
Just because we're old and grey Doesn't mean we'll go away Look at the total hag reaming an even older can of catfood... Hear the flies buzzing through her bodily openings, bringing with them the coolest diseases... Sometimes these flies get caught in the cobwebs that are draped across her armpits... Let's pay a visit to the total hag! Look and see her age-spots and her varicose veins... Just taste the frozen green icicle hanging off her nostril... Hear the wheezing cough filling up the air projecting her diseases... I've had enough of this... Fellas let's go torment the total hag! Hunchback Turkeyneck Prune-tit Sag... Let's pay A visit To the Total hag... Garbage can Catfood Newspaper Bag... Come on Let's go Let's go The total hag... The total hag smells like mothballs! I like to scare the prune-tit scag Drop a match in her shopping bag Kick her in her Rickets, push her in the road Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! I laugh at the total hag...
Wax the boner Wax the boner - put it in Piercing cobwebs - deep within Stabbing maggots - penis red Moldy Oldy - in my bed Lube the lizard - pelvic thrust Hard to breathe - inhaling dust Can't hold back - time to spunk Corpse of granny - full of gunk
Submitted by BloodShrine — Apr 25, 2025
In the supermarket with my mother at my side Lurking in the frozen foods was something that made me cry A disfigured being, limping down the aisle Reached down, patted my head and greeted me with a smile... Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy! Mommy!
Submitted by The Void — Apr 25, 2025
Lepers without feet Hopping down the street Walking on their knees Doing as they please Lepers without brains Diving out of planes Plunging through the sky Thinking they could fly Lepers without hair Tumbling down the stairs Turning into dust Laughing is a must Lepers without hands Lying in the sand Baking in the sun I want mine well-done Those zany lepers that have no feet They fall apart -- in the street Don't have much skin to call their own It peels away -- revealing bone Those crazy lepers, they are so neat They fell apart in the street All those lepers, they have no feet FALL APART!!
Submitted by Nargaroth — Apr 18, 2026
Chicken bone - in my neck I can't breathe - what the heck Butter knife impales my throat Through the slit - I start to choke Plastic straw - held with gum Emergency tracheotomy Has been done Waiting for the ambulance I get bored and start to play I take the peas from my plate Load the straw and fire away Waiting for the ambulance I get bored and start to play Emergency tracheotomy Can be fun - you better run Waiting for the ambulance I get bored and start to play I take the peas from my plate Load the straw and fire away Shooting people in their eyes Is so much fun, the pain subsides Launching peas from my neck Blinds the waitress who drops the check Waiting for the ambulance I get bored and start to play Emergency tracheotomy Can be fun - you better run - you better run Waiting for the ambulance I get bored and start to play I take the peas from my plate Load the straw and fire away It's so much fun the pain subsides Launching peas from neck Blinds the waitress who drops the check Chicken bone - in my neck I can't breathe - what the heck Butter knife impales my throat Through the slit - I start to choke Plastic straw - held with gum Emergency tracheotomy Has been fun
Submitted by Finntroll — Apr 25, 2025
Where are my dentures... I can't find my dentures... Where are my dentures... I really need my dentures... Where are my dentures... What the fuck are dentures? Where are my dentures.. I can't find my dentures... [Repeat verse] I can't remember anything!!! Oh, when I was but a lad I was as sharp as a tack But now I'm old and I can't seem To remember where I put my Things... why me? I mean - I'm supposed to be wise.. I'm old, I'm supposed to be wise Now, what was I looking for? Oh yeah! My bowling ball Well, what do you know It's right here - you see I'm not senile I found my bowling ball I FOUND MY BOWLING BALL!!
Submitted by SerpentEve — Apr 25, 2025
If you wanna hang out you’ve got to take her out; cocaine. If you wanna get down, down on the ground; cocaine. She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t lie; cocaine. If you got bad news, you wanna kick them blues; cocaine. When your day is done and you wanna run; cocaine. She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t lie; cocaine. If your thing is gone and you wanna ride on; cocaine. Don’t forget this fact, you can’t get it back; cocaine. She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t lie; cocaine. She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t lie; cocaine.
Submitted by Immortal — Nov 16, 2025
Where is grandma? It's time to eat... Perhaps in the bathroom, trying to excrete... She's not on the throne, where can she be? Maybe in the living room, watching TV... Not in here either, where did she go? Someone find her soon, the roast is getting cold... OK - no one panic - we musn't dispair... I've got a feeling she's somewhere upstairs... Now I'm getting mad - where's that senile loon? The only place left, is in the bedroom Open the door, hear the wretched snore... AHAAA!! GRANDMA'S SLEEPING GRANDMA'S SLEEPING NO SHE'S NOT NO SHE'S NOT SHE'S DYING IN HER BEAUTY SLEEP SHE'S DYING IN HER BEAUTY SLEEP ALMOST DEAD...... ALMOST DEAD Now we have to bury grandma... Now we have to bury grandma... Now we have to bury grandma...
Submitted by Corpse Grinder — Apr 25, 2025
The judge blows the whistle, and everyone falls down.. Crutches in the air - braces on the ground... The crowd begins to laugh, at the helpless tarts... No pity for the freaks, because they're fun to watch... There are: Retarts in potato sacks One-legged amputees lying on their backs Stupid fucking mongoloids drowning in the pool Parapalegics in their chairs - all they do is drool [Repeat] NO LIMBS - NO FEET NO LIPS - CAN'T EAT CAN'T WALK - CAN'T SEE NO COCK - CAN'T PEE [x2] Half of them have died, when the day is over... No trophies given out, 'cause all of them are LOSERS...
Submitted by Sexy Gargoyle — Apr 25, 2025
When we were young - it was only a game You would win - at everything Chilhood rivalry - developed and grew Games became battles - the I would always lose Now you're a big shot - controlling my life Causing me nothing - but pain and strife But I know your weakness - you haven't a friend Except from your puppy - who soon will be dead Here is your puppy's head Your only friend - bloody red It's all your fault - it is dead Tides have turned - now you lose If you want the rest It's too late - there's nothing left Mangled poodle - makes good stew I ruined your life - I laugh as I chew
Submitted by Immortal — Apr 25, 2025
She walks around in her robe To hide her bag of shit Colostomy bag, reeks of crud Embedded in her hip Screaming at the bitch She took my parking spot I caught a whif of colostomy And took off bown the block Almost one month later I saw her in the park Perfect time for revenge It was after dark Hiding in the bushes As she's walking by Jumping out on the path I piss into her eye Blinded with urea Stupid smelly bag I took my hands with all my might And squeezed her colostomy bag She spun around about ten times Until she heaved up brown Leaving her all embarrassed In a putrib mound
Submitted by Nargaroth — Apr 25, 2025
Your body's lowered in the ground Worms become your carcass bound Nibbling on your skin and then Munching on the meat within Life is over - now you're dead Worms are crawling through your head The worms crawl in - the worms crawl out They consume your body and poop you out
Submitted by Immortal — Apr 25, 2025
No lyrics have been submitted for this track yet.
Do ya... wanna do some crack? Do ya wanna drop a log? Do ya prefer to pick your nose? Or would ya rather mouse a hog? The bathroom is a holy place I can wack-off without disgrace What! There's no paper? I don't care I'll wipe my ass with my underwear The bathroom is a holy place I can wack-off without disgrace There's so many games to play in here Like "Bombs away in the hollow chair" It's a place I can think Projects chunks in the sink So many things to do in there You can't see me - so I don't care BATHROOMS RULE!!!
Submitted by Grave666 — Apr 25, 2025
Submits, comments, corrections are welcomed at webmaster@darklyrics.com OLD LYRICS
Submitted by Dahmers Fridge — Apr 18, 2026