Fear of Being Forever Lost

Time has come for renewal.<br/> I urgently long for an altered situation.<br/> Only chained to my solitude<br/> there is serenity in my insecurity.<br/> A fatal stillness in silence after the abuse,<br/> long enough have I rested in the dark,<br/> Silently cried out all pain,<br/> reached out my had for kindness<br/> but dreading rejection.<br/> <br/> Was I reaching for false hopes?<br/> Was I waiting for human goodness<br/> although all I had seen was human wickedness?<br/> Was I closing the door for approval?<br/> <br/> I hid in the fear of being lost forever<br/> and chose to slowly fade .<br/> I swam toward the bottom of my sea fo self pit,<br/> filled my lungs with deadly water from my past.<br/> I swam deeper when someone tried to pull me up,<br/> sacrifice myself in fear of drowning the one who cared.<br/> I longed for an altered situation<br/> but human kindness i feared the most<br/> I expected even more wickedness<br/> <br/> God I know that You were always there.<br/> Only Your thoughtfulness kept me alive<br/> during my darkest hours.<br/> <br/> Was I reaching for false hopes?<br/> Was I waiting for human goodness<br/> athough all I had seen was human wickedness?<br/> Was I closing the door for approval?<br/> <br/> Sometime I wish You would have let me die.<br/> Still I knew, that You offer life in abundance<br/> But I search for the indemnification that can come only from the who inflicted shame on me.

Submitted by Iron_Wraith — Jun 06, 2026

Swimming through floods of tears,<br/> rays of anguish pounding me.<br/> My will to live diminishes with each wave of affliction<br/> that breaks my weakened existence.<br/> It bothers me to know that I have been here before.<br/> I assured myself that I'd never return to this solitary site,<br/> believing I was rescued once and for all.<br/> I thought it was a lesson I could learn,<br/> but somehow I'm back here,<br/> at the reunion of repressed memories,<br/> caught in the vicious circle of self-oppression,<br/> anxiety, fear, and uncontrollable thoughts.<br/> <br/> The cold water numbs my limbs; I'm losing focus again,<br/> trying desperately to remember the details of my last rescue,<br/> clinging to the hope of finding the safe rocks again.<br/> The light from the lighthouse flickers once more,<br/> and dies as the demons of death are closing in.<br/> <br/> Overrating my capacities, denying the weakness of my flesh,<br/> I tried too hard and fell, slipped down the slippery cold rocks,<br/> and now I'm back into the relentless sea.<br/> <br/> Lies are caging me;<br/> hatred, bitterness, and self pity.<br/> Why this injustice?<br/> Or am I too blind to see the outcome of my actions?<br/> <br/> I hate me for not trusting You.<br/> I hate that I let them get to me.<br/> Why do I have to be here at all?<br/> You are my Lord regardless of my feelings;<br/> rescue my again;<br/> pull me up, and let me dry.<br/> Place my feet on the rock, and let me see the<br/> sunshine once more.

Submitted by Iron_Wraith — Jun 06, 2026

In the midst of this morbid darkness,<br/> where galling spirits roam,<br/> a flickering ray of hope bears witness<br/> of the thoroughly transforming Light.<br/> Discover the light, freedom, light and peace!<br/> <br/> The darkness has been tangible for so long.<br/> Enclosed by fear of leaving the safe and known.<br/> What is to be found?<br/> <br/> As he turns his face, light strikes, a warm bath of love,<br/> the Love of the Father.<br/> Surrounded by fear caused by the friction<br/> of contaminated feet impressions of demons<br/> who have infected and enticed my past.<br/> Is there healing for this victimized soul?<br/> <br/> Come out of the darkness!<br/> Come to Jesus!<br/> Discover the light, freedom, life, and peace!<br/> Be released from the cumbersome chains!<br/> <br/> In my heart believing that the Father raised Him from the dead,<br/> your crystal water runs through my soul,<br/> cleanses, restores, delivers.<br/> <br/> See, I will do everything new.<br/> Born again, the filth is gone.<br/> the darkness is gone.<br/> Life embraces me in light,<br/> a will to live fills my spirit<br/> despite my past enslavement.<br/> I was born here to make a difference.

Submitted by Iron_Wraith — Jun 06, 2026

Instrumental

Submitted by Iron_Wraith — Jun 06, 2026