Exulansis
I recall the innocent memories<br/> Filled with pure evil<br/> which I understand since childhood<br/> Filled with evil of nature, its indifference to values<br/> <br/> To appear sane <br/> I hid my wickedness<br/> Remorse is for the weak<br/> Damage is done<br/> Bulletproof outside<br/> Collapsing inside out<br/> Thousands of thoughts bear a single mask<br/> <br/> Subconsciousness howls<br/> Spoils the previous zen<br/> The world is spinning so fast<br/> I struggle to hold grip on reality<br/> I sculpt a human shape<br/> Out of pure void<br/> <br/> I've lived a thousand of lives<br/> Death, madness and pettiness ploughed up my mind<br/> My mind is overflowing with confusion<br/> Loss, remorse and suffering ploughed up my heart<br/> <br/> Since she is gone<br/> I am but a human shape in void<br/> Rage<br/> I rage, against the demise of the light<br/> I won't go gentle into that good night<br/> The scars of past shed light on my future<br/> <br/> Everything led to this point of my life<br/> Inhale the star dust and watch the tears evaporate<br/> The world still spins so fast<br/> but now it has finally released me<br/> <br/> I give up the will to survive till the bitter end<br/> But I can't resist that good night<br/> That night is a bliss<br/> It ties up all the loose ends<br/> Loss is another face of love<br/> and the horizon of pain<br/> embraces redemption<br/> <br/> I am the unmoved mover of the worlds<br/> Thousand faces of god's abandoned vessel<br/> In disguise of one<br/> <br/> When I realized<br/> All is lost, all the hope is gone<br/> I let it all go for all is void<br/> The glimmer of itself<br/> <br/> The void mirroring itself<br/> <br/> Everything led to this point of my life<br/> Death, madness and pettiness showed me the way<br/> To restore the balance I immerse myself <br/> in the zen of beautiful suicide
Submitted by Iron_Wraith — Jun 06, 2026
Sun shines with peaceful grace<br/> How come I am the reason we ache<br/> Is it my inner insecurity?<br/> Or the suspiciousness of the so-called reality?<br/> <br/> I've come to the conclusion that love is melancholy<br/> I abound with plenitude<br/> I'm sorry my love is consuming<br/> Truth is it is eroding me too<br/> <br/> The sun has set and there is no grace anymore<br/> Eternity pierces my mind in a static fracture of time<br/> <br/> In that glimpse I felt all the pain in the world at once<br/> But for the first time ever I felt as one with the cosmos<br/> Overwhelmed I struggle not to wake up<br/> In the light of where I've been, <br/> how could I ever come back to life again<br/> At the time I thought that no pain could be worse<br/> I can't believe how naïve I was!<br/> Since then I've become a cork in a sea storm<br/> <br/> Anchored in pain, all was bearable<br/> As long as you cherished my hope<br/> You silenced the howling distress inside of me<br/> <br/> Abandoned and fragile on a quest to find solace<br/> As each of us is imprisoned in a vessel<br/> Doomed to wreck by loss of others<br/> Who nourished our hopes in spite of the odds<br/> <br/> There is nothing real about the world<br/> I choose to believe in your love and in the hungry ghost<br/> You bring the rest to my soul<br/> And who cares if everything is just a Samsara<br/> <br/> Everything is going to be fine<br/> As long as I feel the warmth of your breath on my neck<br/> Everything is going to be fine<br/> As long as a pawn has a queen to die for
Submitted by Iron_Wraith — Jun 06, 2026
We have danced on thin ice<br/> Now I'm trapped by its crust<br/> <br/> Tomorrow has finally come<br/> With it the void in my heart<br/> <br/> The past had been unkind to me<br/> Half a dream, the rest was a lunacy<br/> Then I looked up to my queen<br/> And charged, dancing fearlessly<br/> <br/> Thank you for all the soothing care<br/> <br/> I raised my shoulders<br/> And took on the weight of the world<br/> I fought the hungry spirits<br/> Defenceless, yet immortal<br/> I took on the world<br/> You told me: "The faith is useless; go, live!"<br/> I'd put up a fight with anything knowing you are there<br/> But the void is impossible to fight<br/> <br/> As the Queen lays in dust<br/> Kings fall in demise<br/> I'm just a pawn<br/> I've got no one to fight for anymore<br/> Just myself<br/> <br/> I am the revenant, a wandering spirit haunting itself<br/> The life supposedly goes on<br/> But how is it different from a drunken delirium?<br/> The price of joy is too high<br/> Yet somehow I stay alive<br/> <br/> We dance to night's music<br/> In a graveyard gaff<br/> Candles' light and shadow's realm<br/> Moonlight is the audience<br/> <br/> If there is a fate, then it's driven by a psychopath<br/> And we are all his children<br/> You will never have my farewell<br/> I'll carry you inside<br/> <br/> Now I stand here gazing at the epitaph of<br/> who we might have been<br/> Instead I am choking on a broken eternity<br/> I remember being strong<br/> <br/> The tears froze over<br/> As I buried the last evidence<br/> Of my existence<br/> <br/> I took on the world<br/> You told me: "The faith is useless; go, live!"<br/> But the life no longer goes on, there's no point<br/> And the void is impossible to fight <br/> <br/> As the Queen lays in dust<br/> Kings fall in demise<br/> I'm just a pawn<br/> I've got no one to fight for anymore<br/> Just myself<br/> <br/> I am the revenant, a wandering spirit haunting itself<br/> The life supposedly goes on<br/> But what if there is nothing more than a drunken delirium<br/> The price of joy is too high<br/> I don't know if I am alive anymore
Submitted by Iron_Wraith — Jun 06, 2026
Deep in the woods, the night touches my skin<br/> You come along with me, but now you are gone<br/> I'm lost and I'm scared, I keep calling your name<br/> Until my sore voice finally breaks<br/> <br/> You left me alone<br/> And I'm afraid of night<br/> The only thing left<br/> Is the memory of your smile<br/> I keep waiting and I feel cold<br/> No longer as a man <br/> <br/> A hungry apparition sits on my chest<br/> I thought it was you<br/> But it devours me<br/> My mind slips<br/> And the last memories of you<br/> Crush me down<br/> Paralysed<br/> I fear the terrors in my sleep<br/> So I wait<br/> <br/> In place of the sun the clouds hang<br/> Heavy with ink as dark as the woods at night<br/> The ink is dripping in my eyes<br/> Making me blind to the fortune passing by<br/> The noble butterflies of night circle around<br/> The last bright memories of my former life<br/> I keep waking up and falling asleep, switching on and off<br/> As their brightness dimishes<br/> The apathy conquers all<br/> <br/> Months pass, followed by years<br/> Only the grief stays<br/> Bleaches out the trace of human in me<br/> I forgot what her smile looks like<br/> And the winds rule the hollow cage of my ribs<br/> Bells introduce the night<br/> The joy<br/> The ink<br/> The wind<br/> The death<br/> Repeat<br/> <br/> The heart doesn't lie<br/> Yet I feel like I'm running waist-deep <br/> in water against the current<br/> I fail to understand how I could have survived<br/> There is no point in clinging to living<br/> All the former virtue gets more and more twisted<br/> I don't recognize myself in the mirror<br/> The inner voice I have always listened to <br/> has been silent for a while<br/> Replaced by the hungry spirit's intrigues<br/> <br/> I choke on the emptiness<br/> I'm oblivious<br/> So let me die<br/> Let me join you in oblivion<br/> To leave no trace<br/> I want to rest<br/> To fall asleep with the last thought I hold so dear<br/> I am betrayed<br/> By my own mind<br/> Hostile towards the legacy which I'd hate to leave<br/> <br/> You left me alone<br/> And I'm afraid of night<br/> The only thing left<br/> Is the memory of your smile<br/> I keep waiting and I feel cold<br/> No longer as a man<br/> <br/> A hungry apparition with familiar face<br/> Reminds me of myself <br/> And it devours me<br/> My mind slips<br/> And the last memories of you<br/> Crush me down<br/> Paralysed<br/> I fear the terrors in my sleep<br/> So I wait
Submitted by Iron_Wraith — Jun 06, 2026
How can it be?<br/> How can a thing change so much?<br/> Deprived of my sleep<br/> I was but a hollow husk<br/> <br/> Numb to the bone<br/> I'm stripping of all memories<br/> Pure, yet alien<br/> Capable to feel only physical pain<br/> <br/> Mimicking the purposefulness of everyday routine<br/> I finally found the ground beneath my feet<br/> <br/> And although I'm stained with mud<br/> at least I can stop drowning<br/> I can almost reach to the surface<br/> Of this ocean of ink around me<br/> <br/> The clarity sprouts in me<br/> I'll have to confront the hungry spirit<br/> I know he never left for good<br/> He is weakened by its age<br/> <br/> He told me who he was<br/> And although I always suspected<br/> I dared not to believe<br/> <br/> He is a god<br/> He is a beggar<br/> He's once been rich<br/> and now he's me<br/> <br/> Suddenly I recall<br/> The cause of my gaping wounds<br/> Memories unfold<br/> Every wound has its meaning<br/> The ancient hole in my chest<br/> Awakens the forgotten passion<br/> <br/> There is nothing as sad as a book left unfinished<br/> And that is why this is my farewell<br/> <br/> Now I remember the moment<br/> when the Queen drew her last breath<br/> My mind is without distraction<br/> I know how this has to end<br/> She showed me how to love<br/> Being one with the hungry spirit<br/> I know how to end myself<br/> The void is what she has left me<br/> With void I must merge
Submitted by Iron_Wraith — Jun 06, 2026
Instrumental
Submitted by Iron_Wraith — Jun 06, 2026