Faster Than Sex

He will be the one To finally break The wheel of mortality (My initial reaction, I was kinda shocked? It was just kinda weird, because it was just hard to understand Carlito is in a commited relationship with a car.) Do you hear my calling? Do you call for me? Late night documentary I'm fucking cars That is my testimony Do you have a wife? Do you have a car? Do you like pissing yourself at the bar? Shitty life, crappy and boring Regular sex leaves you snoring INCANTATION, MASTURBATION Life of frustration? But I'll show you my way Day after day Ever the same? Driving me to become insane Browsing the pages of a car magazine This doctor's visit's just a smokescreen (Doctor: If you're gonna be in the waiting room You gotta have an appointment, stop browsing the magazines) (Carlito: OK, I'm outta here) His destiny My prophecy He's committing car adultery I will guide him on his quest Fucking a car, he's a man possessed In his garage so late To cars, he masturbates He is the one, car master Every day he's becoming faster GMC, Subaru, Mitsubishi Now you love cars sexually (Where's my damn husband at?) Step inside, never look back GARAGE OF SEX I'm fucking that Cadillac Wife suspects every night GARAGE OF SEX Let's turn the key and ignite (FUCK, I LOVE CARS) She's a Hyundai Aston Martin, Opel too Jaguar, Skoda Buick, Geometry Fucked 'em all at the car factory (Death will never catch him; he will be the one) Jeep, Leap Oh, I'm balls deep Oh, Peugeot, let's fucking go What are you doing? Step inside, never look back GARAGE OF SEX I'm fucking that Cadillac Wife suspects every night GARAGE OF SEX Let's turn the key and ignite (HE'S BROUGHT ME BACK) Still an apprentice, still green In his garage, a poster of Lightning McQueen The student will become the master With every car, he will be faster Carl Benz: FLASHING LIGHTS I APPEAR LISTEN CLOSE THERE'S SOMETHING YOU NEED TO HEAR EVERY CAR THAT YOU SEE IT WAS ONCE MADE BY ME MY NAME IS BENZ TAKE MY HAND AND LET'S BE FRIENDS WE ARE AUDI, PORSCHE FIAT, LEXUS WIZARDS OF THE CAR (Carlito: Hey honey, there's a ghost in the fucking garage right now) Carl Benz: COME BACK I SAW WHAT YOU WERE DOING INSTEAD OF YOUR WIFE, YOUR CAR YOU'D BE SCREWING Carlito: How did you know? Car Wizards: WE SAW IT A LONG TIME AGO HE'LL BE A MASTER OF CARS ITS YOUR DESTINY Carlito: So what? What do you want from me? Carl Benz: JUST KEEP FUCKING CARS CASUALLY Car Wizards: ONE DAY YOU'LL BE FASTER THAN SEX Step inside, never look back GARAGE OF SEX I'm fucking that Cadillac Wife suspects every night GARAGE OF SEX Let's turn the key and ignite A new master of the car Has been chosen now

Submitted by NecroGod — Jun 08, 2026

I hold the power (Power) And I hold the key (Key) The car was my creation (Creation) And sex is my manifestation I AM THE WHISPER IN THE NIGHT GO AND DIVORCE YOUR WIFE A GHOST OF 200 YEARS PAST NOW GO AND FIND A CAR REAL FAST Oh, carry on my legacy As you fuck that car rapidly Rise from my grave as you scream my name CAR SEX, SIXTH SENSE I AM CARL BENZ He's a master of the car's invention I'M THE MASTER OF SEMEN RETENTION I died as you lived SEX WITH CARS Spirit, oh, come to me Four-wheeled auto fantasy Auto, porsche, honda too If it goes forward I WILL SCREW Faster, Faster everyday How does sex work anwyay? 1885 NOW THE SEX DRIVE IS IN OVERDRIVE CARL BENZ: Now go, my son, and feel the power of the automobile You must be fast You must be strong You must now possess the power TO BE FASTER THAN SEX 19th cеntury Let your penis free I AM THE WHISPER IN THE NIGHT GO AND DIVORCE YOUR WIFE I'M A GHOST OF 200 YEARS PAST NOW GO AND FIND A CAR REAL FAST Oh, carry on my legacy As you fuck that car rapidly Risе from my grave as you scream my name CAR SEX, SIXTH SENSE I AM CARL BENZ NOW GO FUCK THAT CAR Oh, carry on my legacy MASTER OF INVENTION As you fuck that car rapidly SEMEN RETENTION My grave as you scream my name CAR SEX, SIXTH SENSE I AM CARL BENZ Summoned by the great warlock, JOHN LEXUS IT'S TIME TO TURN THE KEY I FUCK AGAIN CONVERT THIS Now is the time to heed my call Leave your wife before nightfall Spirit within the headlights Resurrected by the exhaust rights (Only the Volkswagen Rabbit made it It's the best car in the world for under 350 dollars You gotta FUCK it to believe it.)

Submitted by NecroGod — Jun 08, 2026

Have you ever felt like this before? Steel pipe, cheap engine, she's got what I cannot ignore Talking about that muffler, yeah you get it Mechanic, traumatic When he finds out what I've done to this car They always judge me, they cannot see Sex with cars, sets me free Behold the master of marital disguise Shit, I love that car This is it, the last straw I am outta here Take your cars And shove 'em up your rear "Gladly," I said The spaghetti sucked dick anyway File for divorce, reason? car intercourse Are you ready for garlic bready? Ooh, here I come into the night Packing meat, I'm ready for a fight Stuck in the muffler, get a saw Wife says this is the last straw Here I come into the night Cause the muffler feels so right Tonight, alright I'm getting divorced Just relax and calm down Gas light! Please don't ever leave me Cars need that vitamin P Everybody needs a hobby, I once read that But damn the muffler, ooh, it makes me go splat Yeah sorry wife Sorry you caught me cheating on your car today But I'll tell you what There's something you give me that makes me stay To fix our marriage just for today Are you ready for garlic bready? Ooh, here I come into the night Packing meat, I'm ready for a fight Stuck in the muffler, get a saw Wife says this is the last straw Here I come into the night Cause the muffler feels so right Tonight, alright I'm getting divorced Packing meat, I'm ready for a fight Stuck in the muffler, get a saw Wife says this is the last straw Here I come into the night Cause the muffler feels so right Tonight, alright For a divorce Okay, fine I'll confess everything to you There is something really wrong with you You weren't like this before Now you're fucking cars? Well, wife, there's something I gotta tell you No, my son, don't tell her anything A demon came into my head Told me to fuck cars instead of the one I wed No, my son, she must never know Demon, demon, inside of me Why don't you just let me be? You're the chosen one, you have a destiny What the fuck is going on? Who are you talking to? Are you ready for garlic bready? Turn the key! Ooh, here I come into the night Packing meat, I'm ready for a fight Stuck in the muffler, get a saw Wife says this is the last straw Here I come into the night Cause the muffler feels so right Tonight, alright I'm getting divorced Packing meat, I'm ready for a fight Stuck in the muffler, get a saw Wife says this is the last straw Here I come into the night Cause the muffler feels alright Tonight, alright Do my bidding, and do my will Maybe you can eat some garlic bread swill You will have a master beard like me You will fuck cars, that is my decree Gaslight your wife tonight You gotta believe me, I'm feeling alright Are you ready for garlic bready? No! I'm out of here Take the couch, the dogs and the beer Cause I am out of here Divorce, divorce, divorce Talking about a divorce

Submitted by NecroGod — Jun 08, 2026

Shit! Watching Top Gear Where's the subtitles, I swear I'm American Speak English, goddamn! Religious breakdown God is who? Subaru Spray paint with a can My wife is made in Japan Kore o kudasai Arigato onegaishimasu I'd like to fuck this car I'd like to marry it Wheels of pussy My dick's stuck in the car door The exhaust pipe, a hole so tight Handjob by Toyota Acting like a freak 'Cause my last car was Greek I'm banned in every bar 'Cause I'm nutting to Nascar Dameda abunai Nani the fuck? My wife has left me For a better looking man She's got– Wheels of pussy My dick's stuck in the car door The exhaust pipe, a hole so tight Handjob by Toyota Wipers on, 'causе here I come Just givе me five seconds then I am done Helvete, jävla skit Kuken, vafan! You left me for a Swedish Volvo Welcome to my garage of sex Here inside, you can say gex Because I drink your gasoline More addicting than any lean The song's about fucking cars! Wheels of pussy My dick's stuck in the car door The exhaust pipe, a hole so tight Handjob by Toyota (Goddamn!) Wheels of pussy (Pussy!) My dick's stuck in the car door The exhaust pipe, a hole so tight Handjob by Toyota Yeah, you fucked me on the freeway Just like you fucked my life Yeah, my sex life is in shambles God, I really, really miss my wife Fucking at the DMV With a prostituted Humvee Dammit, I forgot the protection God, I really miss when you ran over my erection! I'm a divorced man, all alone Wish I was getting head in the AutoZone She took the house and kids Now, my life of drinking begins Gasoline, gasoline God, I miss the pussy machine Gambling is what I do now Balatro is better, anyhow Watashi no kuruma o fakku Shite kudasai Ai wo Torimodose Chitsu no sharin Kuruma no doa ni hasamatta chinpo Gomibako ni mukatte Onani suru Mike wa Hageda Wheels of pussy She left me for a Nissan Pathfinder

Submitted by NecroGod — Jun 08, 2026

I'm fired from my only job that I ever could hold down I got a mortgage to pay, I got a wife to tell Oh, this won’t end so well Hey, guess what happened today? Did they raise your pay? No, I got fired today! But I got good news anyway I got a new car from Italy (What?) She’s my Lamborghini fantasy It’s Euromeat, taste so sweet European cars can’t be beat Yeah, baby, you rock me right into my seat Former wife, she cannot compete 'Cause it's Euromeat, taste so sweet European cars can't be beat Yeah, baby, you rock me right into my seat Your love is like concrete 'Cause it's Euromeat, taste so sweet European cars can't be beat Yeah, baby, you rock me right into my seat 'Cause I'm talking about that Euromeat Yeah, I'm a simple man, I had a simple job Damn, Lamborghini makes me throb I'm talking cars that you can barely sit in Damn, I love the feeling of your chrome skin Debt, debt, now I'm in debt After Lamborghinis, I'll never get a Corvette Money destruction, Italian seduction Keep betting on Powerball Feel the engine whine, she's got that Italian design Vaffanculo, c'est la vie, pise el gas, nunca perdí She's Serbian? Maybe Albanian? Damn, she's my Lamborghini fantasy It's Euromeat, taste so sweet European cars can't be beat Yeah, baby, you rock me right into my seat Former wife, she cannot compete 'Cause it's Euromeat, taste so sweet European cars can't be beat Yeah, baby, you rock me right into my seat Your love is like concrete 'Cause it's Euromeat, taste so sweet European cars can't be beat Yeah, baby, you rock me right into my seat 'Cause I'm talking about that Euromeat (Every Ferrari 308 leaving Italy for America Leaves on Goodyear radial tires 'Cause Mr. Ferrari wants it that way) Ferrari, why don't you marry me? He's the master of the cars Full of meat, just because His love for cars is so damn fast Let me have a sip of your gas Euromeat, Euromeat, can never be beat Euromeat, Euromeat, let us do it right in the streets She's a masterpiece from a land of cheese Macaroni gravy is my meal The language of Europe I cannot fucking deal Est que tu es marié ? Fuck, I cannot deal with anymore I learned everything from a grocery store American I love German cars on the Autobahn Bored of education, I'm going through separation Cannot start a conversation Left my family, marital emergency For a Lamborghini fantasy It's Euromeat, taste so sweet European cars can't be beat Yeah, baby, you rock me right into my seat Former wife, she cannot compete 'Cause it's Euromeat, taste so sweet European cars can't be beat Yeah, baby, you rock me right into my seat Your love is like concrete 'Cause it's Euromeat, taste so sweet European cars can't be beat Yeah, baby, you rock me right into my seat 'Cause I'm talking about that Euromeat The master of the meat Taste so sweet ABS, IBS Euromeat

Submitted by NecroGod — Jun 08, 2026

I'm more than you see I'm a modern mystery I'm working 9 to 5 But I'm running out of time 'Cause this damn lifestyle takes all day 'Cause having sex with cars is the only way We're masters of marital disguise Car-fuckers of the world Stand and unite It's the world against us Feel the power of the car (She's so Mitsubishi) And nothing on earth can stop us now (She's so Toyota) Feel the power of the car (You gotta break it 'til you make it) And nothing on earth can stop us now ('Cause she's driving me crazy) Gran Turismo, Project Gotham Every kind of car makes me say goddamn 'Cause NASCAR is pornography to me Divorce your wife And brеak up your matrimony For you're in love With a car sexually Yеah, get a clue Of what I like to do In Eastern Europe My wife was made Maybe twenty, thirty dinners And I might just get laid My former friends and family They're just afraid We're masters of marital disguise Car-fuckers of the world Stand and unite It's the world against us People like you Into cars, they screw Do you hear my calling? S-E-X we'll be installing (Master) You have one objective in life (Of the) To fuck as many cars (Cars) As you can We're not the biggest But today One car company The other car companies watch Is Renault Feel the power of the car (She's so Mitsubishi) And nothing on earth can stop us now (She's so Toyota) Feel the power of the car (You gotta break it 'til you make it) And nothing on earth can stop us now ('Cause she's driving me crazy) Gran Turismo, Project Gotham Every kind of car makes me say god-fucking-damn 'Cause NASCAR is pornography to me Divorce your wife And break up your matrimony For you're in love With a car sexually We're masters of marital disguise Car-fuckers of the world, stand and unite It's the world against us Are you a master just like me? Your marriage is a misery Is Cars part of your browser history? (Yeah, Cars, that's my favorite movie, dude) Survey says, "you are into cars" I'm talking car commercials That affect you personally Have you ever said "Cars are really sexy"?

Submitted by NecroGod — Jun 08, 2026

(Nearly every muffler shop in Oakland is installing Whistler tips, it's a piece of metal welded inside the exhaust pipes, that makes the cars audible for almost a mile) (THE WHISTLES GO WOO) MASTER OF THE CAR Fresh meat to the abattoir Is your car fucked? Is it instant kill? If you got money, I got the skill (It's that woop woop) TELL ME THE VISION YOU ALWAYS HAD FOR YOUR CAR Burnt Devestated Was your car obliterated? What do you want What do you need? Satisfaction is guaranteed 'Cause I've been in this business all my life Cause i cannot stay in a relationship with my wife I am the master of the bodyshop Are you looking for something Cause I got what you need Sparе rims, whistle pipes Pink-tinted windows look so good Installation, masturbation I got what you need for your car fеtish I wield my tools I strike them down Sparks flash, engines roar My creation is metal pure (Before you choose a body shop to paint your car, ask a few questions) JUST FUCK MY CAR UP WELCOME TO MY BODY SHOP BODY SHOP (You got boost power) GO GO FAST NUTSACK THOR Your machine is my dream My mouth on the exhaust pipe Just like nicotine (Too bad, you lost your JOB) I am the master of the bodyshop Are you looking for something Cause I got what you need Spare rims, whistle pipes Pink-tinted windows look so good Installation, masturbation I got what you need for your car fetish Do you take? CASH or CREDIT It doesn't matter to me Cause the only thing I care about Can I fuck Can I fuck that SUV? YOU'RE WELCOME TO MY BODY SHOP (I'm fired) BODY SHOP (I'm fired) BODY SHOP (I'm fired?) WELCOME TO MY BODY SHOP (Some neighbors are saying way too loud? That's only in the morning, you're supposed to be up cooking breakfast or something by then, so that's an alarm clock, WOO WOO.)

Submitted by NecroGod — Jun 08, 2026

I'm illegally parked In a Walmart lot 30 seconds with a volvo? That's all I got.. I'm not paying for parking It's a lot of money I could spend on a date With a Honda Civic At the interstate HARDCAR UNDERGROUND Old wife left the family HARDCAR UNDERGROUND New wife is a Camry HARDCAR UNDERGROUND A parking space at IKEA HARDCAR UNDERGROUND My new wife is a KIA I'd rather eat your ticket Than pay for this shit Seven floors of concrete And not a single place to sit (I'm going to destroy you motherfucker) Twenty dollars for twenty minutes Are you out of your fucking mind? Fuck your parking structure And fuck your ticket machine 'Cause this is the worst place I've ever been Because I'd rather double park in traffic Than come back again

Submitted by NecroGod — Jun 08, 2026

I command the road I will never ever be towed I have spoilers that reach God (I have!) 26 accounts of fraud on me Commander of speed (In my) Truck, I have peed What is sex? I actually don't know Car is massive Dick is flaccid Giant dollar gold wheels I pretend I was in the NAVY seals It's a monster truck size The floor is scattered with fries IN THE BITCHTRUCK I bought it off Temu Came with free toilet tissue WITH THE BITCHTRUCK Better than before Driven like a whore Pedal on the floor I DRIVE THE BITCHTRUCK Now you see But not really? Windows are too small IN THE FUCKING BITCHTRUCK One, two, I cannot steer Three, four, I think I hit a deer Five, six, it handles like dicks I obliterate all I see Master and commander of the road BITCHTRUCK CAN NEVER EVER BE SLOWED Five miles every year BITCHTRUCK only has one gear Fuck- You- Baltimore! Baltimore! Home of Challenge Pissing! That's right! (Home of Challenge Pissing!) Motherfucker! Go to hell! Now I'm at Hooters Parked beside the scooters All the girls will be like "Wow!" That's surely what's gonna happen I step in like a cowboy But the girls all laugh at me "What is that thing parked outside?", they ask I burst into tears to release the gas Car is massive Dick is flaccid Giant dollar gold wheels I pretend I was in the NAVY seals It's a monster truck size The floor is scattered with fries IN THE BITCHTRUCK I bought it off Temu Came with free toilet tissue WITH THE BITCHTRUCK Cannot slow down or I will die On the road, I'm occupied Built with the cheapest parts available Going in reverse, it's not really capable TEMU, they said I would get laid TEMU, with this purchase, I made TEMU, with the BITCHTRUCK, I'm betrayed It said it would bring me bitches But in the end, I was the bitch TRUCK! Don't wait! Don't delay! Don't fuck with us, or we'll rip your nuts off! Only at Big Bill Hell's, the only dealer that tells you to fuck off!

Submitted by NecroGod — Jun 08, 2026

Another marriage that went real quick 'Cause I'm feeling carsick Are you feeling real blue? I think I got the solution for you Ski mask, you got your silent socks Flashlight, I'm breaking in Carheist, they took away my WIFE They left me with nothing to drive She said it would be best for me If this car was a pile of debris Carheist I'm taking her back Carheist From the yard to the track Carheist She is a '77 Pontiac Carheist I'm taking her back Carheist From the yard to the track Carheist She is a '77 Pontiac A real vintage, a real MILF "Not safe to drive" I can revive Indestructible, she still works She's got a couple of dents But she still twerks Black finish She's got a giant eagle When I brush my teeth I look like Steven Seagal Give me the punani That would be fat To my ex-wife I've lost contact (Call me back, I'm better now, OK?) Carheist I'm taking her back Carheist From the yard to the track Carheist She is a '77 Pontiac Carheist I'm taking her back Carheist From the yard to the track Carheist She is a '77 Pontiac (Yeah, we're running a bit hot tonight I reach between my legs And eat that chicken in the car) She's premium chrome Five bucks and I took her home Guy said, "You really want that?" And on his face I SPAT PONTIAC FIREBIRD FROM THE YARD SHE IS RETURNED I ALWAYS LIKED YOU BETTER THAN MY WIFE NOW THAT YOU'RE BACK IN MY LIFE ("You're fucking crazy") Carheist I'm taking her back Carheist From the yard to the track Carheist She is a '77 Pontiac Carheist I'm taking her back Carheist From the yard to the track Carheist She is a '77 Pontiac And you know, I don't like cars anymore Because I went on YouTube for a YouTube therapy, uh, video So no more cars for me, I promise ...haha

Submitted by NecroGod — Jun 08, 2026

There's something wrong with him He needs therapy I got an idea Intervention for TV We know what's best for him He's fucking up his life How many cars will it take For his addiction to break? You feel like There's something missing in your life (SEX) Dating apps? No chance I'm just looking for a four-wheeled romance Then I saw her without her hood An ad on my phone Yeah, it gave me wood Yo, I'm here for the car I viewed Why do you have a boner, dude? I got my sights set on you So please let me fuck that BMW I went to dinner The valet was shook He said, "Where's your date?" I said, "Just look" Forget all your clubs And forget all your scenes She's the baddest ride you've ever seen They say, "It's a car, bro, get some fucking help" I said, "Nah... bro" She backs up my boner with turbo You need some therapy (No I don't) But you got a worm in your brain (Oh yeah) Why are you fucking cars? (Funny?) What is wrong with you? SEX WITH BMW This ain't a phase It's a lifestyle cursed I'd rather die fast than a lifestyle reversed Car magazines at gas stations Make me avoid job applications It's chips for dinner once again I hope my BMW doesn't see any other men I went to a doctor And he said, "What's wrong?" (Well, doctor, I just got giant fucking balls!) That's not the problem you have Looks like you had intercourse with a car valve (No, what? I never would do that) (I gaslight my doctor) And leave fast It's time for an intervention (No) Just what the fuck are you doing? (Cars?) We're taking away the BMW (What?) Just stop fucking cars This is best for you THEY CANNOT TAKE MY WIFE AWAY THEY FORGOT TO TAKE MY KEYS NOW TO YOU ALL FUCK OFF PLEASE NOT EVEN GOD CAN STOP ME DESTINY CALLS OUT FOR ME THE SPIRIT OF MY CAR TELLS ME TO TURN THE KEY HE'S GETTING FASTER EVERY DAY SEX WITH SEX WITH BMW INTERVENTION (The ultimate driving machine)

Submitted by NecroGod — Jun 08, 2026

Oh, oh Ozempic Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme that which I desire Your quest is going well Your power grows every day But, you need more FUEL You need OZEMPIC Wake up every morning I can tell something's wrong In my stomach, 500 cakes That does not belong? Up all night fucking cars I need a quick bite® I need something to satisfy my appetite THE POWER IS IN MY HANDS DIVORCING YOUR WIFE FOR ETERNAL LIFE THE SECRET LIES IN YOUR DICK IT'S TIME TO INJECT OZEMPIC Oh, oh, Ozempic You give me the power to fuck any car SUV JEEP, I am Bramon creep Protecting my semen My speed demon Oh, oh, Ozempic They cannot see What I believe 'Cause my wife is madе of steel 'Cause my wife is made of steel BENZ: Oh, you lovе cars? Yeah fucking bullshit, man They call me the fuel Injector, detector of cars CARL BENZ: Do you think CARLITO: YEAH! CARL BENZ: You are top shit? CARLITO: MAYBE? CARL BENZ: Compared to me, you're just a car wannabe I'm the DRIVER, the HOT PURSUIT I am the NEED FOR SPEED I'm the MOST WANTED I am in the MIDNIGHT CLUB I'm talking FLATOUT On my genitals Like MIDTOWN MADNESS (I'm talking DIRT) Oh, like Colin McRae? YOUR LOVE IS LIKE A BUFFET Are you fueled, are you ready Are you ready for love? Are you ready for the sex thunder to break above She is what I need She makes my penis bleed It was in the first garage With BENZ, the warlock LEXUS And JOHN AUDI The eye of OPEL The hand of FERRARI And the wheel of CHRYSLER THEIR POWERS TOGETHER THEY CREATED Oh, oh, Ozempic You give me the power to fuck any car SUV JEEP, I am Bramon creep Protecting my semen My speed demon Oh, oh, Ozempic They cannot see What I believe 'Cause my wife is made of steel 'Cause my wife is made of steel (It was cooler than a GTO, faster than a Stingray, and it tasted great with mustard. It was the Wienermobile, and I wanted one But deep down inside, I knew I was one Quality beef is as good as ever. Remember when you wished you were an Oscar Mayer wiener? AHHHh)

Submitted by NecroGod — Jun 08, 2026

(His naked public breakdown in Pacific Beach made national headlines back in March. In his first public appearance since then, Carlito talks with Oprah Well, you see, Oprah, I decided to publicly jerk off into public and cause the death of 30 people, lol. But, uh, honestly it was a social experiement) Daylight it's never ever late For some traffic masturbate I make it a problem For anyone in my way But for me It's just another goddamn Monday I'm a man On a mission To inject some sex transmission Lube it up Lube it down Preparе for a four-wheeled meltdown Get out of thе way They will say But for me it's only Monday 'Cause I am Jerking off Jerking off on the freeway (Are you ready to die?) L.A. Traffic I've caused a roadblock I check, check the time It's dick o'clock Frontal collision It's a frontal power A car comes From 600 miles per hour (I'm carjacking) Run me over I don't care When I'm around You better beware Ford, Honda & Chevrolet To the government I will never obey Top news of today Crazy man jerking off on the freeway Bones are shattered I'm almost dead From the scene I have fled CANNOT GET ME I AM FREE FREE FROM THE SHACKLES OF SOCIETY When I'm in the middle of the road You can expect a giant load 'Cause I'm ready to die AND IM READY TO NUT Grab the crankshaft As cars pile and crash Here comes the cops Taser in the buttocks Don't do it again they said to me But here I am jerking off in the Grand Prix The unstoppable car Versus the immovable man ¡LLEGÓ EL JAPONÉS! ¡TOYOTA COROLLA! Dodging cars left and right A racecar veers off and ignites Get him off the track commentators scream and say But for me It's goddamn Monday I'm a man On a mission To inject some sex transmission Lube it up Lube it down Prepare for a four-wheeled meltdown Get out of the way They will say But for me it's only Monday

Submitted by NecroGod — Jun 08, 2026

Skid marks in the streets Skid marks in the sheets Mirror, mirror on the wall Give me torture cock and ball New wife has died in the car hospital My love life is just microscopical I jump out of the hospital window, 30 meters down That's not how it works in Beantown With a broken body and a shattered hip I'll never stop visiting the car dealership How I'm alive is a mystery My brain has a critical injury Carfucker, my one true OTP Carfucker, love like CBT Carnifornication An overload of sex on the road Fucking like a fist of the North Star I'm the one who downloads a car May you live like a windrammer as you fuck Damn, I'm talking about fucking cars, man! Now I'm on TV, my strangе addiction I stick in the exhaust pipe for painful friction I don't еat paper, I don't eat detergent I just need a car, so urgent Do you like my car? 'Cause I like it, too The Saturn Ion, with dent-resistant side panels Saturn, people first I just got three things to say: Start! Your! Engines! Heavenly Father, we thank you tonight for all your blessings. Thank you for all the Dodges and the Toyotas. In Jesus' name, Amen! Lord, I wanna thank you for my smoking hot wife tonight Carfucker, my one true OTP Carfucker, love like CBT Ambulance saved my life Now, be my wife When you were out getting bitches My penis was getting stitches Oh, doctor, will I ever be More than a man? With my destiny? Fucking cars, I need a vasectomy Carfucker, my one true OTP Carfucker, love like CBT Wield my power now, divorce your wife Here begins your new life In the city of California, car sex is the only way Did you buy another car!? I will never stop, I will never quit To my nagging wife, I'll never commit Carfucker, I fuck every car that I see Carfucker, this title belongs to me Carnifornication In Jesus' name, boogity, boogity, boogity, and Amen And there goes the fucking string

Submitted by NecroGod — Jun 08, 2026

I'm driving and I'm speeding and I'm vigorously masturbating Swerving and I'm screaming and I violently cum (I cum) Driving and I'm speeding and I'm vigorously masturbating Cum on the wheel and I cum on the dash And I cum on the floor, then I'm done (Then I'm done) Then I shit on the seats, slash open the tires Break all the glass, then forget where I am Take off the plates, bust out the lights Jump on the roof, and I break into your house at night And walk into your kitchen, and I cum, I cum I cum, I cum Ah It's called a road, it's called a Rainbow Road It is the road that you go It's called a road, it's called a Rainbow Road And you will know when you get there It's called a road, it's called a Rainbow Road It is a road that you go It's a road that you go when you die It's a road called Rainbow Road It's a road we're all gonna go It's a road called Rainbow Road It's got Princess Peach, Mario, and the Toad It's a road called Rainbow Road It's a road we're all gonna go We'll go It's Rainbow Road It's where you go When you die It's Rainbow Road (Ah) I'll miss you again, uncle On Rainbow Road

Submitted by NecroGod — Jun 08, 2026

The legendary Bigfoot Unstoppable Bearfoot And the demolition master Grave Digger Sunday, Sunday, Sunday (Oh shit!) I am hell on wheels Run onto the track and my penis is squeezed Testicular obliteration in front of the American nation Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, for me, it's Cumday Get on your knees and pray for a vehicular three-way Rev up the engine, it's time to fuck Forty thousand people watch as I fuck the monster truck (The baddest monster trucks ever built) If fucking was libido, I'd be the cure A Grave Digger titfuck is my signature Driving up the ramp and annihilatе my ass I never should've inhalеd that galaxy gas Fent it up and fent it down I used to work as a rodeo clown Batman, Batman, crucify me Crush my balls until I pee-pee Heating up the lasagna of sex Like Garfield, I'll fuck that truck next Seven trucks at once drove over my chode Reborn sexually as my meat explodes Blowjob by monster truck Balls crushed to fuck by the Monster Mutt My penits is thunderstruck Just a little warning about this song, this song is about having sex with monster trucks, and it's not for everybody. It has explicit lyrics, and I don't want the listener, you, to listen to this and be, you know, thinking, "Wow, this song is not for me. I think it is a ridiculous subject matter; I don't enjoy this vile filth. And I-I-I especially- I especially think that you, Carlito, that made this song, you have a-a virus in the head. Because why the fuck would you write a song like this? Having sex with monster trucks is ridiculous" I married the Raminator, my cock has a major injury Minimum suction, maximum destruction Through my balls, I shoot yellow eruption Monster truck love, monster truck fits like a glove Not really, my ass is like the sun now Ow, it burns, it really, really hurts Why did I do this to my private parts? Oh yeah, it was this or shooting darts Grandma loved the show, she said it was the best I'll be back tomorrow for the monster truck contest Rev up the engine, it's time to fuck Forty thousand people watch as I fuck the monster truck (They call him Bigfoot, king of the monster truck)

Submitted by NecroGod — Jun 08, 2026

(When you first see the Mazda RX7 you begin to understand why it has become a legend among today's sports cars The sheer perfection of its bucket seats) Ah, fuck! Ah, oh my Mazda Oh my Mazda I've been getting whipped all day in the dungeon, hey hey hey Disco in the sex dungeon, haven't seen the sun-yon Whip me till I fucking bleed, Mazda sex is what I need Force-fed some broken glass straight into my ass There's whips and shit in the dungeon Ass beaten like an onion After having sex with so many trucks (Fisting is 300 bucks) One day I fеlt real sad but then I thought of something rad I turnеd the garage into a sex dungeon Fentanyl under the sink, neighbors says, "what is that stink?" I tell them, "do not worry", to the dungeon I must hurry Now, do you feel the power of Mazda? "No" you say, "what the fuck are you on about?" And I say, "yeah, now you feel the power" Dungeon, dungeon, sex is like a Funyun Rip the bag and eat it up, sex with a Mazda, eyup Chrome pipe exhaust, that's what I want There used to be a greying tower alone on the sea And you became the light on the dark side of me My eyes become large and The light that you shine can't be seen? Mazda, like a kiss from a Mazda in the dungeon Maybe I should've fucked the Batmobile instead Sex with the Batmobile Oh, hold on now Hold on It's getting a little too much now Ooh, I'm starting to chafe I'm starting to chafe here Let's put a smile on that (Pussy!) Ooh shit! Sex, Sex! Sex! Oh, oh, oh Sex with the Batmobile Sex with the Batmobile, hehehe (Experience it)

Submitted by NecroGod — Jun 08, 2026

GLEAUGH! One day, you are looking around Looking around the wrong side of town You see a bulldozer You say, "You know? I'll stick my dick in it!" Ow! It really hurts Ahh! It really hurts But it's ok, it really feels good Mmm, no! Mmm, goddamn; Ooh, fuck Oh shit, it is the bulldozer Shit, fuck; Goddamn! Shit, oh! Roll over my penis and then my house! OW! Gave me the wrong order at McDonald And now you see that I can see The power of bulldozer When I destroy your fucking restaurant When I destroy my balls Then, you will see the power Of the caterpillar tread wheel Is going over my dick Take this shit! I be talking about Deluxe destruction, maximum satisfaction! Ah, it is time to... Get into the bulldozer Gеt into the bulldozer Get into... thе bulldozer It is time for sex? Liquidate my sperm, destroy my house Annihilate my balls, that's what I'm talking about! None of that, shit I'm talking old school destruction I'm talking total obliteration of butt Fucked by bulldozer, fucked by bulldozer Fucked in the bulldozer

Submitted by NecroGod — Jun 08, 2026

I was born A long time ago Man saw my light The time was right To ignite (There were many before you) Jeff Gordon, Jay Leno Jeremy Clarkson James May Richard Hammond My warriors fallen in battle They all gave their lives for this carmageddon (And now it’s your turn) (AUSTIN IS LOADING MCMAHON’S CAR WITH SEMEN) I was an engineer back in my day Germany was looking real grey Walking A to B — that is just not for me I locked myself away real deep I went days without any sleep I used my tools To invent the first car ever made The world will see My masterpiece They said it could not bе done My machine built for cum Guten Tag, my namе is Benz My only inventions were just some scams The future of this world lies within my hands Ja, ja, Herr Benz, I like this car idea However, I think my wife would disapprove But this will revolutionize the world? Ja, but she doesn’t like it But this will fix all the problems? She thinks it’s pigscheiße This car could always replace your wife Approve my trademark And soon man Will have to learn to park My first prototype That was just some old shite I stole the idea from some guy I ripped him off, and now it’s goodbye I made a fortune From my own invention But people started driving Instead of relieving tension SEX WITH CARS IS THE INTENDED INTENTION They wouldn’t listen to me Not even my family Bronchitis on my deathbed But from a book I had read BLACK CURSE OF MIDNIGHT SPELL I WILL ESCAPE MY MORTAL SHELL I WILL DIE, BUT I WILL RETURN IN 100 YEARS, THE WHEELS WILL TURN Well, Herr Benz Your scheißenmobilen is being manufactured right now You know what convinced me was all this nature — I hate it! A giant parking space here would be good Really I have summoned you all here John Audi ((((the lyric is gonna be john audio, but its john lexus here, gonna mix that tomorrow))) (’Sup?) I HAVE SEEN A VISION OF THE FUTURE Our powers are diminishing We need a vessel A future carfucker could beat the devil HE CANNOT HAVE A WIFE TO CARS HE WILL LEAD HIS LIFE WE HIT THE GAS PIPE OF ETERNAL WISDOM HE WILL BE THE ONE TO DESTROY THE SYSTEM HE CANNOT BE PURE OF HEART HE MUST LOVE CARS LIKE WORKS OF ART A TOTAL FREAK TO HIS CAR AS GHOSTS, WE’LL BE HIS AVATAR The key to immortality Lies within this car He can drive faster THAN SEX I will appear in his garage But will he accept the quest That whe is charged? Only time will tell If he succeeds Can he reach velocities beyond mortal speeds? WE CAN LIVE ON THROUGH HIM I SEE THE ONE BEFORE MY EYES

Submitted by NecroGod — Jun 08, 2026

(The 1992 all-wheel drive Subarus are at your dealers now and he can hardly control himself Subaru all-wheel drive control yourself) You are the master of your car (Adjust the mirror) Go ahead and twist the key AND UNLOCK IMMORTALITY When you're a man Doing manly things Burgers ain't enough to satisfy your cravings Balding at 12 I knew you were a freak Your mother was a car Your life is so bizarre YOU ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE DIFFERENT Doctors said it couldn't be true Birthmark, Subaru He was driving before he could walk Now, as a man, he can barely talk Have you ever checked your name? (Benz) You and I arе the same (Use your glands) A silеnt whisper in your ear To put your penis in first gear You are so close to your destiny More powerful than any weaponry Just a few more steps And he will be He will be Faster than sex ONE CAR REMAINS Carlito:Now is my time to say Were you always there watching me? As I fuck cars in secrecy? Yes, I was watching all along 'Cause marriage to your wife always felt so wrong Benz:Why do you think I picked you? (WHY) A bunch of secret wizards made it come true (Oh) We cheated death through immortality But the Grim Reaper caught us eventually Car Wizards: The crystal pipe told us Of an ancient prophecy A man born to defeat death Fucking through terminal velocity It's a Subaru Legacy I am the chosen one I am Carl Benz's grandson You are so close to your destiny More powerful than any weaponry Just a few more steps And he will be He will be Faster than sex ONE CAR REMAINS

Submitted by NecroGod — Jun 08, 2026

Submission is never my mission Met this guy just down the road "Hey, man, wanna try your luck?" I said, "I'm born to die, the world's a fuck" He asked "What's the game of your choice? Poker, dice, or a race with that Rolls-Royce?" I agreed, the race was on but the price was never agreed upon Something was gaining fast So I hit the clutch, but the dice was cast I realized something was wrong Something in the mirror did not belong A black robe with bonely wheels It's a game of death with automobiles He was gaining soon, and I was losing fast He gave me the fingеr as he zoomed past "Yeah, right, you'rе a penis man" I hopped in my car, and the chase began I'll never ever admit defeat As long as I still live and breathe Tires screech and engines moan Hit the throttle, rub the chrome I'm faster than sex Metal heart with gasoline breath I'm the nightmare that outruns Death I'm faster than sex I hear the sirens of the grave But I refuse to be his slave I'm faster than sex I dodged the reaper, speed never dies Never accept my demise I'm faster than sex Go, my son, and you will see the key to immortality He might be quick, but you are faster Born to be a car master Cops ain't shit compared to this Glovebox filled with forty parking tickets D.U.I, F.Y.I Death means nothing, I'll never fucking die Glass shatters when I land the jump The engine is working overtime with every bump Fucked a Toyota, I fucked a monster truck If cars had big titties, I would suck My car stalls, I roll out solo Grand Theft Autoerotica, I steal a Volvo Manual shift, automatic is shit Driving on the sidewalk, almost hit some livestock Nearly hit a tree, death can never catch me Cannot be stopped as I can carhop I'm the master, can't you see? Racing is my cup of tea He's a moron to challenge me Who is this guy anyway? Slow as fuck, I can beat him any day Just where is the finish line? The sky's turning black, am I running out of time? (Prove you're the one) Tires screech and engines moan Hit the throttle, rub the chrome I'm faster than sex Metal heart with gasoline breath I'm the nightmare that outruns Death I'm faster than sex I hear the sirens of the grave But I refuse to be his slave I'm faster than sex I dodged the reaper, speed never dies Never accept my demise I'm faster than sex Is he the one? The vision from my deathbed has become I'm faster than sex Gordon fell and Leno lost the race Clarkson and Hammond could not keep the pace I'm faster than sex I fucked every car ever made in history I'll carry on your legacy, fucking cars endlessly Am I worthy of your succession? Are you pleased with my car obsession? Look in the rear mirror And you'll see you have become me (Master of sex) I call upon thee Mitsubishi, Toyota, Ferrari, I'm Volvo Nothing outruns me You might drive real fast But you cannot last into Hell Hellish cracks open in the road Hellfire, hellfire beneath my wheels I am Death, you cannot run from me In this fire, you cannot flee Every single one of them has lost the bet The successors of Benz have been reset Did you think you were the first with Carl Benz's curse? You thought you were unique with his car-fucking speak? How much gas is left for our speed contest? 'Cause I got you now Demons, ghouls, skeletal haunt Try to grab onto my car's exhaust Lake of fire, place of eternal pain As he chased me through eternal flame I'll never give up but I'm cornered here But in my quest, I never showed fear Benz guided my every move Sex with cars made me improve But what is the secret he has taught me? Some bullshit about immortality I ruined my marriage and fucked every car What the hell was your point? At your darkest hour, I reveal it all to you I needed somebody to get this far To unleash the power of the car She had the wheels of pussy This journey's come to an end I step outside, I'm finally out of gas It's time to kick the reaper's ass Let's fucking go, Death is a ho Now we will see what this power can be What I never told you when you were cumming Is that any car you can now summon They are part of me, they are part of you Summon the cars that you have screwed Bitchtruck, Mazda in the dungeon Monster truck and the bulldozer you have fucked Now you know the power The ground shakes my beneath my feet Thousand headlights pierce the heat Every car I ever loved Rises from the fire and blood I am faster than sex I'm the one who outfucks death He is faster than sex Igniting Carmageddon The ultimate power is in your hands Hell will crumble where Carlito stands

Submitted by NecroGod — Jun 08, 2026

Cadillac breaks through brimstones Bulldozer shaking the reaper's bones My monster truck with devil horns From the flames, an army's born Lamborghini grabs his cloak Death is grasping, starts to choke Mazda kicks him to the dirt Hummer backs him till it hurts Jeep drags demons through the mud Cars is painting hell with blood Chrysler is driving over his face Subaru puts him in his place Mazda to the left of me, Volvo to my right A hundred cars in hellfire and everyone's a ride I piped The Grim Reaper takes out a Fiat But ten more rise, he cannot beat it For еvery car that I have beddеd is a car resurrected The bulldozer pins him to the wall The Monster truck makes the demons crawl Burnout on his face by a Greyhound Pontiac has him to the ground Biblical image of cars and demons One by one, the reaper weakens I have chosen cars over my wife I'll cross the line between death and life Carmageddon, he is the one from the prophecy Carmageddon, will he ascend mortality? Carmageddon, this war in hell decides history Carmageddon, my car stands in victory No, this cannot be! No mortal man has ever loved a minivan Enough to defeat me One car remains, my son The one you loved the most before this all began She's been waiting, can't you hear? Listen close, she's almost here The chosen one had prevailed against Death But, after the battle, one car still idled A sound I know, a sound I missed Her engines still humming after our first kiss Through hellfire, smoke, and tire screams A pair of headlights, a pair of golden beams She came back, she came back for me My one and only Wheels of pussy I thought she left me For a Nissan Pathfinder But there she is Wheels of pussy, she's back for me The one I loved unconditionally Wheels of pussy, not the Mazda or my truck She was my first, my greatest fuck My wheels of pussy The Pathfinder that took her from me Was Death in disguise, now I can see Death is fading in the mirror His boner's cracked, his end is near His driver's license is tearing in the wind He's lost to a man who has sinned The battle was over, Carmageddon had been won Carlito stood above Death, saying "Now who's the penis?" A hundred years ago, I made the car Alongside my wizard council Lexus, Ferrari, Audi, all car brands, my wizards We're all gathered here in the final battle resting place No longer ghosts, we are back All my car warriors freed, Leno, Hammond, Clarkson No longer chained to the wheel of mortality Now, Carlito, we must leave this hellish place And return to mortal life But now, with Death gone, we are all immortal Death is no more, the power of the cars, no! The power of love had defeated Death and all evil So uh, uh, I just fucked a bunch of cars and uh okay? So uh, we just, like, pick a car and uh leave this place? All my car warriors, get in! Let's leave this place! Every gear I'm shifting through Is every car that I once screwed Their power flows into this drive This is how you stay alive Fifth gear, sixth gear Seventh gear doesn't exist But, together, we are top gear The finish line is made of light We cross it, and the flames turn white The cars follow me side by side I wake up in the garage, Toyota beside me Every car fucker has reached immortality Death can never take us now Not as long as our wheels touch the ground Every car is part of you and you're a part of every car You are no longer Carlito You are no longer just a car master You are forever Carl Master So what now? What do you think? There's only one thing left to do Tires screech and engines moan Hit the throttle, rub the chrome I'm faster than sex with the wheels of pussy Metal heart with gasoline breath I'm the nightmare that outruns death I'm faster than sex with the wheels of pussy I hear the sirens of his grave But I refuse to be his slave I'm faster than sex, 'cause I love cars I dodged the reaper, speed never dies Never accept my demise We are faster than sex Started in a garage with a poster and a dream Now we're all immortal I am Carlito, son of Benz Toyota by my side, and our love is forever (Garage opens) "Where's my damn husband at?"

Submitted by NecroGod — Jun 08, 2026

EXCITING DRESSING FORD HARDTOP CARINA ED 記念プレゼント 実施中 (Commemorative gift campaign underway) Yama ga yobu Sora ga yobu (The mountains are calling you. The sky is calling you) Run my dick and balls over with your funny wheels Azayaka ni chi ga moeru (Vivid blood burns up) My ex wife demanded that I stop fucking cars SEX WITH CARS SEX WITH CARS I'M HAVING SEX WITH CARS NOW And I don't mean that guy from JoJo's bizarre adventure I'm having sex with car Guess what I'm doing to a car? I'll give you three guesses Got three letters Time is up I'll say it now SEX WITH CARS Fuck your car tonight Your wife's gonna be pissed TONIGHT Your car is your real wife Divorce time! Get a new wife! Audi, Nissan, Toyota and maybe Volkswagen too? SEX WITH CARS SEX WITH CARS Kuruma to no sekkusu (Sex With Cars) Watashi hontōni kuruma ga daisukidesu (I really love cars) BENZ: What are you saying my son? KURUMA FAKKU BENZ: ??? I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I'M SAYING BUT MY LOVE TRANSCENDSS ALL LANGUAGES ANYWAY CAUSE IM HAVING SEX WITH A CAR

Submitted by NecroGod — Jun 08, 2026